She slouched into the off licence with a child in a pram
'I need some f***ing cider, ' she said, 'for my old f***ing man.'
'How many would you like? ' Said the, man behind the bar
She said, 'just enough to get him p****d, I'll have twenty ta.'
'While you're at it I'll have a bottle of the hard stuff off the shelf.'
'Only the one though, 'cause my old man says it aint good for me health'
'I told him, I know what's good for me, so I don't drink lots of these.'
'Oh while you're at it, I'll have fourty of your cheapest cigarettes please.'
On the way out the baby started crying for its food