There Are Many Ways Of Killing Oneself Poem by RIC BASTASA

a rat poison is cheaper
a double edged knife can be good
on the wrist
but it's gonna be painful
sleeping pills a can full sure
fits your mouth
and just as good for the
stomach
that is the usual way
actors and actresses do it better
jumping over the highest building
either in Dubai or Chicago
is expensive for you still have
to pay entrance fees
or better yet you can take the gun
into your mouth
and have that relaxing feeling
of a sudden bang
your brains scatter on the floor
and the police will come later
someone innocent may even
be implicated
because of your action
and perhaps that will make
you feel better
someone's life is choked
by the FBI.
A hunger strike is dramatic
on social implication
you die on purpose like
Gandhi the great Mahatma.
Killing yourself is also a responsibility
and must be done with
extreme caution
like when you cut your wrist
staining the carpet
or you bed linens
that would be a hard job
for laundry and
dry cleaning.
These are just the ways to kill
oneself and if you are really determined
to kill yourself
do it well with art.
We cannot come on your funeral
So my dear, just dig a hole beside your
garden, and when you really like
doing it, just drag yourself
an inch away from your self-dug
grave and on the last
breath
throw yourself in and be gracious
enough to leave a note
that you are happy and contented
now in your
self-chosen world.
Feed your dogs, so they may
poo and by chance bury you
when they scratch the soil.
Nice ending isn't it?