There's A Rat Toot Toot In The Casket/The Embalmer's Lament Song Poem by Paul Henry Dallaire

Mrs. Sigmund was a grand old Lady
she died in her sleep one night
So we layed her out in her best attire
and in the parlor dimmed the light

When the next morning all hell broke loose
when little John went about his rounds
Something had paid Mrs. Sigmund a call
and a corpse without a nose he found

Chorus:
There's Rat toot toot in the casket
how he got there no one knows
He must live downstairs in the cellar
and through the building where he roams

Up and down the funeral walls
where the dead are to re-pose
He's pest that Rat we gotta kill him
cause he ate Mrs.Sigmund's nose

Now my job as a Trade Embalmer
is to do my very best
So I restored Mrs. Sigmund's nose
in this room of holiness

And with a two by four he hit it
and I believe it took three whacks
He had made his home in the casket
and that's how we killed that dirty Rat

Now the moral to this story
is to know that when you die
Funeral homes charge way too much
and it's cheaper just to fry

And now Mrs. Sigmund
looking like the Queen of the ball
A free funeral with Pall bearers in style
with a hearse new nose and all



when little John went about his rounds
Something had paid Mrs. Sigmund a call
and a corpse without a nose he found

Chorus:
There's a Rat toot toot in the casket
how he got there no one knows
He must live downstairs in the cellar
and through the building is where he roams

Up and down the funeral walls
where the dead are to repose
he's a pest that Rat we gotta kill him
cause he ate Mrs. Sigmund's nose

Now my job as a Trade Embalmer
is to do your very best
so I restored Mrs. Sigmund's nose
in this room of Holiness

And with a two by four he hit
and I believe it took three whacks
he had made his home in the casket
and that's how we killed that dirty Rat

Now if there's a moral to this story
is to be prudent when you die
Cause Funeral Homes charge way too much
and it's cheaper just to fry

And Mrs. Sigmund
looking like the Queen of the ball
a free funeral and Pallbearers in style
with a hearse new nose and all


A true story by:

Paul Henry Dallaire
SOCAN.CA