Elizabeth Tyease Collins

Rookie - 91 Points (December 22,1992 / Lovesick (Ewing) , Nj)

Trigger - Poem by Elizabeth Tyease Collins

I pulled the trigger no one would
sit and listen,
I sent myself underground for all the
........................
........................
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Comments about Trigger by Elizabeth Tyease Collins

  • (12/10/2009 4:15:00 PM)

    Wonderful..I love this poem..Listen to those who respond..your writing is already wonderful and poetic...i can feel the intenceness and emotion..the pain and inner depression one must have or use to write within this style..you already have this talent Liz...only help you need is convincing your fingers to hit the keys some more and allow us to read what you say..and feel what it is that affects you within..loved it...bring us more.... ~^..^ (Report) Reply

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  • (7/31/2009 4:39:00 PM)

    This is an amazing poem Elizabeth. I agree with Matt Mooney, one day you will have a true force in poetry, yes. And you will be able to change the world. Your already on your way there :) , keep going strong. (Report) Reply

  • Matt Mooney (7/22/2009 7:09:00 AM)

    Elizabeth, one day you will be a true force in poetry and what is more important in life. Perseverance is the secret of survival and eventual success. Like a boat on the ocean there are storms and swells to survive. Sail away.The world awaits. Peace be with you. (Report) Reply

  • (7/19/2009 6:50:00 PM)

    its very sad when a person feels like their nothing there is hope
    good write
    (Report) Reply

  • (3/4/2009 11:14:00 AM)

    think this is a little confusing on a poem for me any way! but its still really good! ^^ (Report) Reply

  • (2/27/2009 3:31:00 PM)

    u started this really well, it captured me in the begining n i wanted to read more but somewhr in the middle it sort of looses the feel i got in the beginin, im nt sure if its 2 long or ther r jus 2 many words. towards the end..me for dead.. is that intentional? i couldn make it sound. the rhyme scheme cld b bttr bt well tried.
    the poem: i feel n hear u loud n clearly, u did well pennin ur feelings.

    WORD
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/26/2009 3:36:00 PM)

    excellent write and read. you ar every talented (Report) Reply

  • (2/26/2009 5:20:00 AM)

    Great writing! I like it and how you expressed the pain and sadness. good work! (Report) Reply

  • (2/25/2009 3:03:00 PM)

    I like how you used 'dead' as a verb...It's creative. This has potential, truly. I'll read your other poems, because you've certainly piqued my interest.
    I like the mood of the poem, on a positive note. It's got a good feel, even if it's not a very happy theme.
    Some critisism would be this, and I mean it to be helpful: You became more and more wordy as the poem went on. If you had shortened it up a bit earlier on, it would have summed up well, and been less cluttered. There are too many syllables, some words aren't necessary, and in the end, all of this ends up disrupting the flow of the poem.

    In fact, I agree with Moth Harris in a lot of respects. That's some sound advice, and I couldn't have put it better. My sentiments exactly.

    As an aside: I see Sora from KH! xD How did you know I was an anime/manga/rpg fan? Are you stalking me? ! Tcheh. Even more odd while I'm looking up a faq on TWEWY. <3
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/25/2009 6:43:00 AM)

    I thought your poem was very good, quite deep but an insight into a suicidal teenagers mind, keep writing, well expressed,
    Lynda x 10
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/24/2009 8:43:00 PM)

    This was a GREAT poem....very deep....i liked it (Report) Reply

  • (2/24/2009 8:02:00 PM)

    wow this is really good...every word each sentence is well written (Report) Reply

  • (2/24/2009 7:58:00 PM)

    I was hoping against hope that this was about Roy Rogers' horse Trigger. But I
    knew in my heart it wasn't. So, it is what it is. Sorry about that. Well, this is
    another cold writing about death. It doesn't make me feel any better than the last
    one I read. This one is just a bit better written, that's all. I thought the writer set
    up the ending well. Though I knew it was coming. It needs a better flow to read
    better, but the rhymes are fairly good. I would say slightly above average.

    GW62
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/24/2009 6:40:00 PM)

    You have conveyed your feelings powerfully here...yes love can be very disheartening and leave us feeling hopeless but I think we have to try and stay hopeful & love ourselves regardless... (Report) Reply

  • (2/24/2009 5:57:00 PM)

    a really sad poem. well versed and easy to read. your feelings are very much appreciated.

    alex
    (Report) Reply

  • (2/24/2009 5:43:00 PM)

    what all that sadness mmmmmmmmmmm but i loved it (Report) Reply



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