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You love a book, play, poem or production and then you study it and have to slate it. You feel passion and infatuation and feel it fade to affection, tolerance or even mild dislike. You see beauty and see it fade and wither. You love life and then begin to detest or feel apathy towards it. You love food and then you develop and recover from an eating disorder but you're not quite the same. You love doing hobbies and then your joy in them is sucked out of you or your free time is robbed. You love alone time once a day but now it is either almost all day or never at all. You love the idea of love but then someone or a news story breaks you and makes you wary of everything and everyone. You trust blindly as a child and then you grow to hold back vulnerability to protect yourself- you become defensive, not open and you repress- not just the pain but- every single good feeling you ever felt. Alcohol opens it up but we all know where that leads. Love fades and changes and you can't try to constrain the object of your love because that's not a loving act. So you must accept the fleeting nature of it. You must learn to live in a world of uncertainty where one's life is lived and died in the blink of an eye. You must accept your earthly mortality or at least you have to try.

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4/22/2021 10:28:21 PM #