Was I Ever A Friend? Poem by Achim Wollscheid

I have no home elsewhere to go
Home existed but I had to follow
a decision of my heart's
it hummed 'abandon' softly and slow
until it became a haunting ghost

I was told that God's looking down at me when I look up to Him
Praying for the safety; His big, warm hands
but I dreamt He went out
and Left a hole in Heaven's floor
His angels' peering through
shaking heads. eyes, hearts filled with candid grief,
with sighs of disbelief
I loved him so
But Not enough,
the world with Him was always so monochrome
I had to go

So the brightside, this is what it's like
Cold dying hands, begging for life
everywhere I go.
But I'm not kind. no
nothing's left to give of myself
things like vines have drained me dry
shortly I'll die

But Beautiful demons I saw, whirl about with glee,
sound sweeter than sunrise
breaking pass perfect lips,
on one wretched day
They came to ensnare me, I was sure
had to turn away
But Admittedly,
a cheaper trick convinced me

A creature, caught me by the heart
it gathered all my attention
Knew I shouldn't have stared intensely
but Thought just a glance would be okay
And It coursed up the plains, graceful and gay
I felt a slight Tingle in my senses
worries shed away. It was as if it
bore my loads

Promised, swore I wouldn't
but my feet stumbled out
they led me closer, and closer
and...ah
there it was, what I didn't see
the pitfall that
Dragged me into the ground

Yelp!

and the majestic creature turned my way,
revealing a dastardly face
I thought it was radiant

How brilliant,
shaping a shovel of its hooves, burying me under the earth
all while i searched for a word to say
a prayer to pray
to no avail,
the remainders of my being, no worth

in the ground? all the blessings from Heaven?
I felt God had then shut our secret door
But how hard it was to discover and to open!
He wouldn't show up there anymore
No it wasn't pleasant, but I knew that it was fair
Someone like me belongs to the dust here
He knows it to be true

but wait.
we're seasoned friends sheltering something 'unshatterable'
no matter how boneheaded, I
and glorious, He

My hero,
I know I'll see Him once more at the door
He'll fight the menacing beast,
find me sunken and distressed,
swoop me from the pit,
and do what's Best

we've been through this before,
will He do it all again?
I ponder
unevenly Breathing. mind, inches away from insanity
my my my, what have I done
Who have I been all this time?
was I ever a friend?