What 'It' Can Be. Poem by Richina Lee

After them long days of pondering and wandering
I think I finally sought things through
The thoughts of regret if I do not convey my feelings
The thoughts of triumphs, of this infinitesimal situation
The thoughts of how to rid this complication
The thoughts fills me with exaggeration
I am so rapt in this situation that I do not know if I can ask this question
Wishing that this was just a repartee, but it seems like it would never be
I am just being a garrulous person as of now
I tend to blend words as a way out
To try to escape the truth I am afraid to face
To try and erase the things I had longed to say
I don't want to be this indecisive person
So confused and wrapped in complication
It was suppose to be just infatuation
Instead now it revolve into an infestation
A disease that stays bury within,
With no cure, no medication to tend,
Left to spread throughout my mind and body, left it to kill me within,
Of this love and trust and misinterpretation
Inept in all the ways possibly known,
All you see is a reflection,
Of who you are and what you are EXPECTED to be,
you do this, in other words I cannot be me.
And when you try to fight the battle,
Only to see you are standing alone.
Superstition is a battle to fight,
Either way you can always go wrong,
All you wanted was some perfection,
Something magical to idyllic the situation,
Realization struck as you hit the conclusion
Nothing can be superlative, but in your own illusion