What We Never Know - Poem by Kirsten Rowe
What we never know we could be.
That elusive word.
In a way that we believe impossible.
It’s here right in front of us.
What has stopped us?
What is stopping us still?
The space we make up.
Are we always going to avoid what we both want?
It’s there just underneath everything
we don’t ever say.
I find myself telling you.
Only because your not here.
So I tell the open air and fall asleep holding onto nothing.
I have ever dreamed.
I have ever wanted.
I have ever tried to hold close Is in everything you say.
I’m always right there hanging on the edge
Wanting so badly.
To tell you, to hear you tell me.
You hold my greatest fears.
Fear that you’re the fit
Fear that your the one who matches.
Fear that you don’t see it,
not the way I do.
Could you ever?
What if you can’t?
What if you won’t?
Do I do again what I have done over and over?
Lose my soul,
ending up alone as ever?
If I do this time it will be harder,
Maybe its best.
To stay in the shadows.
If I do, when you lose your soul to another
like I’ve lost mine to you
you won’t see me cry. You won’t see me crumble
Because if I lose you,
If I lose all you’ve come to mean
And feel to me,
All that I’ve come to know would lose its romance
its color and its love.
I would lose me.
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