Christopher Higginson

Rookie - 0 Points (16 April 1944 / Salisbury Rhodesia)

What You Can’t Say When You’re Drunk - Poem by Christopher Higginson

They say when drunk you cannot bluff
To say what you can’t say
Like “Thanks I think I’ve had enough”
“I’m late so I can’t stay.”

It seems the booze takes hold of you
And stops the vocal chords
From saying certain things on cue
So here are those few words:

“Gud evening Offisher, it’sh late
How clear it ish tonite
How nish to shee you at my gate
Ash I put out the light.”

“Oh Shank you ashking me to dansh
I’m awkward on my feet
Embarrash you? Oh not a chansh
I’ll shit here on my sheet.”

'I couldn’t Karaoke shing
My vocal chordsh are shtuck
I’ll lishen while you have a fling
I’ll wish you lotsh of luck.”

“No more pudding shanksh for me
I’m really on a diet
Kebabsh and shaushagesh will be
Fattening if I try it.”

“No Shanksh, now I’ve drunk my fill
No beer I’ve got to go
I’ve got to show that I have Will
Power to shay No! ”

“I really mushen’t fight in barsh
Musht keep my clothing clean
Nor will I go out driving carsh
And what I shay I mean.”

“Shank you for your offer of
A bed to share tonight
But ‘though I shink you’re gorgeous Love
I shink I know whatsh right.”

“You know I’ve got to leave right now
I’m working in the morn
No more drinksh I musht think how
I’ll welcome in the dawn.”


Comments about What You Can’t Say When You’re Drunk by Christopher Higginson

  • (10/17/2006 3:34:00 PM)

    Nice job on the 'drunken-speak'! It helps to have a few in you when you try to write something like this.... -chuck (Report)Reply

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  • (10/13/2006 5:23:00 PM)

    your words always come out wrong when your drunk.....Because U lost all control of yourself...BY DRINKING WAY TO MUCH.... (Report)Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, October 13, 2006

Poem Edited: Saturday, October 16, 2010

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