Alec Gibson

Rookie (July 30,1994 / Cherokee Iowa)

Why Me? Why Now? - Poem by Alec Gibson

Why me, Why Now?
What did I do to deserve the treatment?
The hate,
The resentment
That I can feel radiating from everyone?
I try to stay as low key as possible,
To keep in the shadows,
To avoid being hurt.
But somehow,
People always seem to find me,
As if they have special radar
Set to find me and only me.

The teachers always say they are here to help.
If that is so true,
Then why is everyday of my life
When I go through school
Filled with misery?
The funny thing is
Whenever I am out and away from school,
The darkness fades
Fades away like the clouds fade away after a long storm

Why Me, Why now?
Why am I treated
Like I should survive?
I get tossed, and beaten,
And I scream for help.
But the funny thing is
No matter how hard
I try to get someone’s attention
They never turn my way and look
If they did look,
They would see all the pain and hurt
That shows on my face.

Why me?
I think I know.
It must be for not helping that kid
When he was getting bullied
Or maybe because I didn’t say please or thank you
Or maybe it is because I gave up on god
YES that has to be it!

Well guess what
I’m not going back to that religious fool I used to be
I AM better faster and stronger now.
Don’t worry I will get through this
All I need is
My poetry, my razor, my pills.
OH the pills, how wonderful they make me feel
I can escape everything when I have them
They are my one and only true friend.

How do I know?
They have never let me down.
They never have and they never will.
But I better go they are wearing off.
I have to get more before my mind goes completely back into reality.
Bye, possibly forever.

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Poem Submitted: Friday, May 8, 2009

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