Worthless (2007) Poem by Jodie Phillips

worthless person lying here
sacred husband lying near
how I hurt him, hurt his heart
tearing at mine now, tears it apart

angry that I feel this way
I didn't mean to hurt him that day
he hurt me before with knowing acts
and I forgave the painful facts

Why is my act worse than his
why do I hate myself like this
I've never been chosen as number one
I've never been the best or most fun

he has caused me to hurt before
all those acts I chose to ignore
now I have hurt him without meaning to
I've sunk into darkness, don't know what to do

I think my pain is part empathy
knowing the feelings caused by me
knowing how not being chosen feels
knowing that part of his love was repealed

How do I rise above what I've done
How do we unite our hearts as one
How do I explain how awful I feel
How will he know that my feelings are real

I am unworthy of love and happiness
Until he forgives me for this terrible mess
Until I am able to forgive myself too
for causing the pain I thought I never could do