Baseball Has Been Blemished
'Ladies and Gentlemen...
This is a dim, dark day we face in America.
Our troubles seem to have come and parked upon
Our Thresholds to bring and leave us sorrow...
Within our stadium walls and our manicured,
And richly green park diamonds.
In the past few years,
We have suffered through threats of terrorists
And the antics of Brittany Spears.
Rosie and 'The' Donald
Lower than average film revenue.
The exposures revealed by our priests...
Who not only knelt at the altars
Of our divine pristine religious structures.
But also at the knees of our young boys.
These days that come to crack our backs...
Seem to try to cloud our eyes,
With unrelenting tears.
Not only has a bomb been dropped on Obama.
With reports of his drug use as a young man...
Some twenty years ago.
But Maya Angelou's support of Hillary Clinton's
Run for president of this great nation...
Wishing she could give her away,
As one of her favorite things this holiday season!
And although it pains me,
From the depths of my patriotic heart
To announce this latest most devastating blow.
I have come to announce the steroid use...
And other enhancing performance inducements
Taken by our highly paid baseball players!
This is a sad day for baseball!
Has been blemished!
While we were singing...
Take me out to the ball game
Take me out to the crowds.
Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks...
Our boys were pumping themselves up,
With much more than vitamin C and Iron!
The very foundation of our strengths...
Seem to be crumbling beneath,
The secrets of our greed.
And mud stained feet!
What can and shall be done about this?
We must not let this defeat our greatness achieved.
And with a moment of silence...
Let us unite and bow our heads,
To be lead...
Once again to lift them up,
In the hopes to glimmer our brows in the Sun...
This report is a call to action!
Let us pray.
Liberal Democrats. Conservative Republicans...
And Independents all.
Let us win back our dignity,
And the untarnished image of our beloved baseball.'
Thursday, December 13, 2007