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! Cat Skills - Poem by Michael Shepherd

So the diminishing tribe
of wild cats
got together and agreed hey times is gettin' tough
we need a strategy.
Urgently; ideally
a subject race
with superior paws
while we wait for evolution
to do its thing. How about
using easily-fooled, sentimental
old Two-legs?
They got great hands,
sexy bastards.

Right guys,
we need to be smaller than wild -
-the smaller, the more sentimental Two-legs gets; and
catch them young, they're yours for life...;

and we need just enough variety too
because Two-legs like to think they're all unique and different
and they can impose the image of their uniqueness
on their own pussy
and love us almost as much
as they love themselves - for their kids,
as much as life itself...

just enough character, in short,
to make us prized, but not enough character
to get us into war, or divorce, or corporate fraud...

The Egyptian wild cat proposed
that being seen as sacred to temples
would enhance status;
but other cool cats pointed out
that temples might get neglected in time;
better far to be a god(dess) of the hearth
than the temple. Agreed nem con.

And that took care of all the smaller details like evolution,
the rearing of cows,
and tin-openers. Bingo!

That's funny. The cat just jumped on the keyboard
and scratched me.


Comments about ! Cat Skills by Michael Shepherd

  • Rookie Rich Hanson (3/22/2005 5:24:00 PM)

    I enjoyed your poem enough to show it to my wife, a cat person who rarely reads poetry. She gave it her paw of approval as well. (Report) Reply

    1 person liked.
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  • Rookie Michael Shepherd (3/22/2005 11:21:00 AM)

    I think they indeed can do better, Rusty. They just sit there watching you and thinking 'Why go to all that trouble for happiness when happiness is...? ' (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Rookie - 258 Points Cj Heck (3/22/2005 6:31:00 AM)

    Geez oh man, Michael... you've written a poem about a conversation between MY two cats. How'd you do that?

    Seriously, this was a fun read and I enjoyed it very much. Funny thing is, watching my cats, it even seems possible!
    Hugs,
    CJ (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
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Read all 5 comments »

Poems About Cat

  1. 1. Black Cat , Rainer Maria Rilke
  2. 2. The Owl And The Pussy-Cat , Edward Lear
  3. 3. Lullaby For The Cat , Elizabeth Bishop
  4. 4. A Cat , Edward Thomas
  5. 5. Poem (As The Cat) , William Carlos Williams
  6. 6. Tame Cat , Ezra Pound
  7. 7. Having Slept, The Cat Gets Up , Kobayashi Issa
  8. 8. The Cat And The Moon , William Butler Yeats
  9. 9. Pussy-Cat , Spike Milligan
  10. 10. For I Will Consider My Cat Jeoffry (Exce.. , Christopher Smart
  11. 11. Ode On The Death Of A Favourite Cat Drow.. , Thomas Gray
  12. 12. The Cat Of Cats , William Brighty Rands
  13. 13. Ad Lesbiam, Cat. Ep. 73 , Richard Lovelace
  14. 14. The Cat And The Sea , Ronald Stuart Thomas
  15. 15. To Mrs Reynolds' Cat , John Keats
  16. 16. A Cat Named Frank , Marilyn Lott
  17. 17. Cat Island , Thom Gunn
  18. 18. The Poem Cat , Erica Jong
  19. 19. Cat , David SmithWhite
  20. 20. Cat Scat , Eamon Grennan
  21. 21. In Lesbiam Cat. Ep. 76. , Richard Lovelace
  22. 22. To A Cat , Algernon Charles Swinburne
  23. 23. The Mysterious Cat , Vachel Lindsay
  24. 24. The Cat , Jibanananda Das
  25. 25. A Cat , Louise Bizzari
  26. 26. Free Cat , Chuck Audette
  27. 27. Cat Among The Chickens , Nick Hilton
  28. 28. ! Cat Skills , Michael Shepherd
  29. 29. The Cat Is Free , Adeline Foster
  30. 30. The Young Rat And His Dam, The Cock And .. , Anne Kingsmill Finch
  31. 31. My Cat , Otteri Selvakumar
  32. 32. Cat-Pie , Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  33. 33. Funny - Fat Cat , Rita El Khoury
  34. 34. (310) Our Cat (Tiger) , Melvina Germain
  35. 35. The Cat That Came To Tea , sylvia spencer
  36. 36. No-Name The Cat , David Lewis Paget
  37. 37. Separate Cat , Lonnie Hicks
  38. 38. Ask The Cat , Ben Gieske
  39. 39. The Retired Cat , William Cowper
  40. 40. Mistress Gurton's Cat , Mary Darby Robinson
  41. 41. 003: The Cat Tray , Colin Johnston
  42. 42. The Cat , Leo Yankevich
  43. 43. Sister Cat , Frances Mayes
  44. 44. Who Will Bell The Cat? , Dr Kamran Haider Bukhari
  45. 45. The Eagle, The Sow, And The Cat , Anne Kingsmill Finch
  46. 46. ****paradise-Patsy The Cat , Coach Roth
  47. 47. The Cool Cat , Jasmine Aira
  48. 48. Cat Lover , Michael Philips
  49. 49. Cat Nap , Linda Hepner
  50. 50. The Cat , Linda Ori
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