Christmas Poems - Poems For Christmas - 1007 Father Christmas - Christmas Father - Poem by John Knight | Poem Hunter

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1007 Father Christmas - Christmas Father - Poem by John Knight

When I was very young
I really believed in Father Christmas
The whole package - Reindeers - Santa Claus
The Christmas Elves - Gobal distribtion etc.
I made a 'Christmas Present List' and mailed it
faithfully each year to: Mr S Claus - North Pole
I left mince pies - sherry and nine carrots
Sure enough they had all been eaten
By Dasher - Dancer - Prancer - Vixen - Comet
Cupid - Donner - Blitzen and of course Rudolph.
And all the presents on my list were there.
My parents explained that the Father Christmas
In the CO-OP was just a local representative.
It all seemed so logical and so plausible.

When I was ten - I went to Grammar School.
We started to study Physics - always a mistake
I applied the Laws of Physics to Christmas.
Aerodynamics taught me that a sleigh
Loaded with presents and a 260 pound Santa
Pulled by nine reindeers was very very...
Unlikely to have lift off even on a day
With a gale force following wind.
There was also the questions of the
Restrictions of girth and friction on Santa
Negotiating even one chimney on Chrstmas Eve.
MyTime & Motion study also ruled out the feasiblity
Of delivery to over one billion homes in 24 hours!

My time as a Christmas Agnostic lasted 17 years
Then my daughter Sharon arrived and I was a Real Father.
Then on 24 December 1960 - I was a 'Real' Father Christmas.
I did not try to negotiate the chimney - but I did
Look the part - White beard - Red suit - Santa hat.
She was only nine months old at Christmas
But I did not want her to see her Daddy - in his
Pyjamas filling the pillow case - at the end of her bed
(Socks were out in 1960) - With everything on her list.
She didn't acctually write the list - but dictated it
To her Mother who was also dressed up - as a Fairy.
My stint as a 'Real' Father Christmas lasted nearly 30 years
'Til the last of my fledglings flew the nest in 1999.
When I 'played' Father Christmas at my Son's School
He said 'Daddy Father Christmas had hands just like yours! '

My 30 year stint as 'Father Christmas in Residence' was over
And the responsibilty of maintaining the myth with my........
Eight Grandchildren lies with my Children - not with me.
There is a problem however that effects all Englishmen.
Once we retire at 65 - in my case nineteen-ninety-nine
We metamorphise - by a series of not so slow transitions.
1. The hair turns grey and then snowy white
2. There is no incentive to shave - so we grow a white beard
3. We become more rotund in the tummy area
4. We spend a lot of time pottering in the garden in wellies
5. We wear a red wooly hat with a white bobble
6. We wear the wife's old red winter coat to keep warm.
From a distance - the perfect Father Christmas!

Because of this transformation we are soon in demand
The Local School and the ubiquitous Church Christmas Fete.
The news spreads - Have you seen John Knight
He's a dead ringer for Father Christ mas - He looked wonderful
with his Elves at the Supermarket Precinct on Saturday.
This is my worst nightmare - This is no longer pretend
I really am 'The Definitive Father Christmas' - From July
Through to March in the next year - and all for Charity.
In reality I quite enjoyed it - Until in October I heard my Wife
Discussing my Funeral wih her friend Patsy! ! ! 'I've been....
to the Undertakers and they have given me a decent price'.
'For a white coffin - on a sleigh shaped hearse - pulled by nine....'
'Not reindeers' Patsy gasped - 'I just don't believe it! '
'Yes they have contacted Colchester Zoo - and it's OK'.
'Oh Gosh' sceamed Patsy 'I hope he dies in December! ! ! ! ! '

(John Knight - Colchester - December 2009)


Comments about 1007 Father Christmas - Christmas Father by John Knight

  • Rookie - 0 Points george george (12/19/2009 6:55:00 AM)

    What a sweet story! You painted such vivid pictures in my mind as I read along. Thank-you! (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Freshman - 820 Points Nivedita Bagchi SPC UK (12/14/2009 11:31:00 AM)

    Indeed a punetry [pun + poetry] …

    Amazed by your boiling beguiling bowling with slower bouncer googly or ace service in tournament point…

    I’m becoming from pie [soprano] to penta [baritone]….snowball …and in love and envious [natural for xx LOL! ] to your agile cerebrality….celebration cheers..

    Ten for punetry with high decibel laughter…
    Ms. Nivedita
    UK (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 4,263 Points Ruth Walters (12/14/2009 6:45:00 AM)

    What a lovely story John

    Ruthie (Report) Reply

Read all 6 comments »

Poems About Christmas

  1. 1. A Child's Christmas In Wales , Dylan Thomas
  2. 2. I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day , Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  3. 3. Christmas Bells , Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  4. 4. Christmas Eve , Anne Sexton
  5. 5. A Christmas Ghost Story. , Thomas Hardy
  6. 6. Christmas Carol , Sara Teasdale
  7. 7. Jest 'Fore Christmas , Eugene Field
  8. 8. A Family Christmas , Ernestine Northover
  9. 9. Christmas Party At The South Danbury Chu.. , Donald Hall
  10. 10. Christmas - A Little Friend's Poem - Wri.. , Ernestine Northover
  11. 11. Remembrance Of Christmas Past , Judith Viorst
  12. 12. Christmas In India , Rudyard Kipling
  13. 13. Christmas , John Clare
  14. 14. A Christmas Tree! A Christmas Tree! , David Keig
  15. 15. A Christmas Carol , William Topaz McGonagall
  16. 16. Lines For A Christmas Card , Hilaire Belloc
  17. 17. What Reminds You Of Christmas? , Ernestine Northover
  18. 18. Christmas Fancies , Ella Wheeler Wilcox
  19. 19. Our Christmas Tree , Ernestine Northover
  20. 20. Christmas - Senryus , Ernestine Northover
  21. 21. Having Lost My Sons, I Confront The Wrec.. , James Arlington Wright
  22. 22. A Christmas Carol, Sung To The King In T.. , Robert Herrick
  23. 23. Christmas Is Really For The Children , Steve Turner
  24. 24. Sam's Christmas Pudding , Marriott Edgar
  25. 25. From The Short Story A Christmas Dream, .. , Louisa May Alcott
  26. 26. Christmas Spirit , Paul Moosberg
  27. 27. Christmas Holidays , Thomas Hood
  28. 28. This Section Is A Christmas Tree , Vachel Lindsay
  29. 29. A Tale Of Christmas Eve , William Topaz McGonagall
  30. 30. Music On Christmas Morning , Anne Brontë
  31. 31. Christmas At Mel’s , C.J. Heck
  32. 32. A Hymn For Christmas Day , Thomas Chatterton
  33. 33. The Christmas Night , Lucy Maud Montgomery
  34. 34. Christmas At The Orphanage , Bill Knott
  35. 35. A Christmas Carol , George Wither
  36. 36. Baby's First Christmas (Children) , C.J. Heck
  37. 37. The Cast Of Christmas Reassembles For Ea.. , Steve Turner
  38. 38. Christmas Treasures , Eugene Field
  39. 39. Christmas Day , John Keble
  40. 40. The House Of Christmas , Gilbert Keith Chesterton
  41. 41. Christmas , Henry Timrod
  42. 42. ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' Christmas Card(Being An .. , Dónall Dempsey
  43. 43. A Christmas Wish , David Keig
  44. 44. Modern Love Xxiii: 'Tis Christmas Weather , George Meredith
  45. 45. Christmas Spirit , Tess Gurney
  46. 46. A White Christmas , Carla Jean Laglia Esely
  47. 47. The Greatest Birthday (Christmas Chris.. , Udiah (witness to Yah)
  48. 48. The Christmas-Box , Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  49. 49. Christmas , Julia Ann Moore
  50. 50. Sir Galahad, A Christmas Mystery , William Morris
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