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Dentist Chair (Fun Poem 99) - Poem by David Harris

Everyone hates the dentist
some much more than me.
Just the thought of the drill
and the light in your eyes
puts the chills up me.

One of my worst encounters
of the dentist chair came in the 1960’s
when a cold in a tooth made my face swell
on one side like a melon
and I could only drink through a straw.
They knocked me out to remove the tooth.
Having no recovery room
they put me back in the waiting room
and sat me in a chair out there.
It was the dawn of the plastic moulded ones
and the one I sat on was so slippery
I kept slipping down.
I mumbled aloud about the dentist being no good.
Some of his patients took one look at me
and decided I was right, then made a hasty exit
from the waiting room.
With the side of my face swollen to the size of a melon
I can understand why.

Another encounter with a dentist
was quite a few years later.
A different dentist with a wholly different approach.
He was having his waiting room decorated
and I was the only one there.
He came in with a Cheshire grin across his face.
“Mr Harris, do you mind if this gentleman
takes out your teeth today? ”
Being I and thinking it was a student,
I said I didn’t mind.
The dentist then said, “He is my interior decorator.”
The smile still implanted on his face.
I nearly ran out of there.

Now the third tale concerns my wife
and she fears the dentist even more than me.
She had an appointment
and when we arrived,
the surgery was closed for lunch.
We went for a little walk
and all the cars we passed had dents in the side.
“See that.” I said.
“Yes.” She replied.
“That’s what the dentist does
when he can’t get his own way.”
As we approached, a corner
there was a church on the other side.
“Why don’t you nip in there for a quick pray
that the dentist doesn’t come back? ”
She thumped me I wonder why.
As we walked back to the surgery I assured her,
that everything was going to be OK.
They calm you as soon as you walk in.
She looked at me suspiciously and asked how?
They have a big mallet just above the door
and bop you on the head as you walk in.
Your teeth fall out in the process
and the job is done.
Now I wonder why she has never asked me
to go to the dentist with her again.

1 April 2009


Comments about Dentist Chair (Fun Poem 99) by David Harris

  • Rookie - 1 Points Sid John Gardner. (4/1/2009 7:15:00 PM)

    Did ou see 'The Boys From Brazil? Creative dentistry at its best... (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Rookie - 139 Points Fiona Davidson (4/1/2009 3:39:00 PM)

    lol excellent write and really made me laugh out loud reading it...thank you...10++ (Report) Reply

Read all 2 comments »

Poems About Fun

  1. 51. Dentist Chair (Fun Poem 99) , David Harris
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  6. 56. The Real Face That's Me (Fun Poem 26) , David Harris
  7. 57. Back Row Of The Picture House (Fun Poem .. , David Harris
  8. 58. Joys Of Flat Packing (Fun Poem 33) , David Harris
  9. 59. Car Washers (Fun Poem 34) , David Harris
  10. 60. Forms (Fun Poem 38) , David Harris
  11. 61. Love Came To Me (Fun Poem) , David Harris
  12. 62. God Is A Prankster (Fun Poem) , JoJo Bean
  13. 63. Not Much Fun. , Bernard Shaw
  14. 64. Fishing Fun , Mary Nagy
  15. 65. A Little Mermaid (Fun Poem 81) , David Harris
  16. 66. A Hole In The Wall (Fun Poem 66) , David Harris
  17. 67. Just For Zee Fun Of Spring....Hehehehehehe , elysabeth faslund
  18. 68. Have A Drink On Me (Fun Poem 58) , David Harris
  19. 69. Ain’t We Got... Fun? , Marilyn Lott
  20. 70. Havin' Fun , David Harris
  21. 71. A Grizzly Dream- Fun , Lisa Cresswell Wilkinson
  22. 72. Fun , Selina Gurgacz
  23. 73. Kissing The Blarney Stone (Fun Poem 17) , David Harris
  24. 74. They Call Me Dodgy The Quickest Vicar In.. , David Harris
  25. 75. Frog Or Is It A Toad (Fun Poem 22) , David Harris
  26. 76. I Met My Girl On The Other End Of My Pen.. , David Harris
  27. 77. The Word That Wouldn’t Fit (Fun Poem 25) , David Harris
  28. 78. Centre Of Attention (Fun Poem 41) , David Harris
  29. 79. If I Only Had A Brain (Fun Poem But True) , JoJo Bean
  30. 80. A Cows Rear Leg (Fun Poem 57) , David Harris
  31. 81. A Pound Super-Glued (Fun Poem 49) , David Harris
  32. 82. A Musical Loo (Fun Poem 74) , David Harris
  33. 83. A Shilling In The Meter (Fun Poem 76) , David Harris
  34. 84. Autographing (Fun Poem 78) , David Harris
  35. 85. Backseat Drivers (Fun Poem 87) , David Harris
  36. 86. Isaiahs Fun Day , Sedale Salera
  37. 87. Jugs Of Hugs (Fun Poem) , JoJo Bean
  38. 88. Little Man (Fun Poem 8) , David Harris
  39. 89. Popping In Popping Out (Fun Poem 16) , David Harris
  40. 90. Down At The Hacienda (Fun Poem 18) , David Harris
  41. 91. Chewing Gum (Fun Poem 46) , David Harris
  42. 92. Fun: The Trilobite, An Ancient Fossil Ca.. , Margaret Alice
  43. 93. Beans (Fun Poem 70) , David Harris
  44. 94. A Fun Box Born Of Idiot Box! , Ramesh T A
  45. 95. State Fair Fun , Marilyn Lott
  46. 96. Fun , michael hubbert
  47. 97. Lasagna' (A T.M. Fun Poem) , Trade Martin
  48. 98. Taste Bud Jingle (Fun Poem) , JoJo Bean
  49. 99. Old Man (Fun Poem 20) , David Harris
  50. 100. Chicken (Fun Poem 23) , David Harris
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