Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

1. A 2nd Poem About Hoss 9/9/2005
2. 4th Of July 9/4/2005
3. We Have To Talk 9/5/2005
4. Sylvester 9/5/2005
5. Let's Step Outside 9/5/2005
6. Respect 9/5/2005
7. Twister 9/10/2005
8. Agnes 9/10/2005
9. Toothless 9/17/2005
10. French 9/17/2005
11. My Stinking Honda 9/14/2005
12. I'M No Superhero 9/15/2005
13. Home Improvement 9/18/2005
14. Yellow Pocket Bike 9/3/2005
15. Attacked 9/3/2005
16. My Crappy Go Cart 9/20/2005
17. Incompetent Doctor 9/20/2005
18. Sent To Prison 4/15/2006
19. You'Re Living In Paradise 4/30/2006
20. Rain & Thunderstorms 7/6/2006
21. I Got A Lickin For Eating A Chicken 7/18/2006
22. Liars! 9/3/2006
23. He Ate All Of The Doughnuts 9/18/2006
24. You Should Be Put In Your Place 10/10/2006
25. Turns To Gold 10/30/2006
26. Superficial 11/1/2006
27. Farewell Jack Palance 11/16/2006
28. Records 12/5/2006
29. Norman Part 3 12/16/2006
30. Ford 12/28/2006
31. She Poured My Beers Down The Drain 12/29/2006
32. End Of 2006 12/31/2006
33. Picking Up Women 1/5/2007
34. Our Vows Meant Nothing To Her 1/10/2007
35. Don'T Have The Special! 1/27/2007
36. Heaven 2/6/2007
37. Anna Nicole 2/9/2007
38. Farley Forever 3/31/2007
39. P.O.W. 4/9/2007
40. You Killed My Son's Cat 5/1/2007

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Poem By Poem By (12/3/2017 8:39:00 PM)

    Very fun stuff! ! ! ! !

    I think of nutty titles too and on occassion write about them.
    You do it so freely and well! !

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  • Gene Gamble (1/26/2009 9:22:00 PM)

    God wants us to be happy: In this poem your route to heaven in theology & Truth is in error. There was a price that was paid and it is a choice. Not of works. Read John 3: 16 again. Make what one is accountable for, not of misleading in the teachings of the Gospel message. Let the Spirit guide you. God bless.

  • Native Dreamer (1/7/2009 5:04:00 PM)

    'I told you I was sick' words written on the great comedian Spike Milligans headstone. Humours a great force of social change keep it up. Maybe if you did it on the streets you might get loose change. Dont be crude cause it might turn nude I speak in rhyme all the time. This comment is dragging on sorry keep on enjoying writing.

  • Corey Threet (6/13/2008 8:48:00 PM)

    You have some very humorous poems I love your style unfortunately Frozen tongue was not fictional in my lol thnx for the entrainment

  • Tyease Collins Tyease Collins (5/29/2008 7:31:00 PM)

    'He looka lika man' Hilarious show and poem. That was too priceless.


  • unknown Viper (1/2/2008 6:34:00 PM)

    on'Loch Ness monster raped me'. very funny...maybe to propagate its specie :)

  • Sasha Anonymous (9/6/2007 7:16:00 AM)

    Marvelous writing... ^_^

  • Emily =) (4/6/2007 10:13:00 AM)

    I love all of your poems they are filled with humor and sadness, light hearted and serious-brilliant.

  • Buried Alive (12/24/2006 7:36:00 PM)

    I found 'I had sex with my mother-in-law' to be the funniest one I read.I was
    laughing my head off. I wonder if you will be writing a second part to it.

  • Jeff Hobbs Jeff Hobbs (7/24/2006 7:55:00 AM)

    Loved the crammed things up your ass poem - I thought it was going to suck a pineapple, instead it inserted one! Very funny, very very funny. You should allow comments on your poems so that you can bathe in the glory!

Best Poem of Randy Johnson

Frankenstein's Monster

I built a living creature with every body part that I could find.
I had no idea that I was giving him a psychopathic mind.
He has a flat head, green skin and bolts in his neck.
He escaped from my lab and he's on a violent trek.

He has killed ten men, eight women and even a little boy.
The villagers are after my creature because he must be destroyed.
When I stitched him together, I didn't know that he would kill.
All I wanted to do was create life and now misery is what I feel.

My creature will continue his killing spree, there's no doubt.
Surprisingly he just...

Read the full of Frankenstein's Monster

A 2nd Poem About Hoss

(Instead of revising my original Hoss(Dan Blocker) poem, I decided to write another Hoss poem.)

He made Bonanza a great success.
He was born in Bowie County, Texas.
After Dan Blocker died, Bonanza went on.
But it wasn't the same after he was gone.

At fourteen pounds he was the largest baby born in his town.
Eighteen years later he stood six feet three and weighed three hundred pounds.

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