Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

361. Jimmy 4/1/2007
362. I Committed Murder 4/4/2007
363. You'Re A Dirty Rat 4/7/2007
364. The Train 4/8/2007
365. The Babysitter 4/10/2007
366. Five Star Restaurant 4/11/2007
367. My Mortality 4/13/2007
368. Nothing Can Bring Them Back 4/14/2007
369. Spiked 5/16/2007
370. You Made Your Bed, Now You Can Lie In It 5/31/2007
371. I Want More Caviar 6/1/2007
372. Driving Over A Cliff 6/7/2007
373. Festus 6/12/2007
374. Transvestite 6/16/2007
375. I Shot My Dog 6/18/2007
376. Bitten 6/20/2007
377. God Is Number One 6/23/2007
378. You'D Better Stop Stealing! 6/30/2007
379. Keep Your Eyes On The Damn Road! 7/7/2007
380. Many Doors Are Closed 4/25/2007
381. My Father 5/2/2007
382. That Damn Dog 5/9/2007
383. I'Ve Paid For Those Beatings I Gave You 7/16/2007
384. I Love Rattlesnake 7/19/2007
385. Flat Foot 7/26/2007
386. Bumble Bee 8/1/2007
387. Apple Pie 8/8/2007
388. I Believe In Love A Little Less Each Day 8/10/2007
389. It's Not A Dress 8/15/2007
390. I Slept With Daffy Duck 8/16/2007
391. Antique Refrigerator 8/17/2007
392. Butter And Eggs 8/25/2007
393. Service Without A Smile 8/29/2007
394. V8 8/30/2007
395. Married More Times Than Elizabeth Taylor 9/1/2007
396. Ace Up My Sleeve 10/14/2007
397. Doll 10/15/2007
398. Garfield 10/16/2007
399. Every Moment Should Be Treasured 10/17/2007
400. Full House 10/23/2007

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds

My Grandpa

(Dedicated to Burkette Greene who passed away February 7,1998.)

He cherished everyday of his life.
He was a casual man with five kids and a wife.
Sadly his wife died and left him on his own.
He then raised his kids and he did it all alone.

He was eighty-seven when he passed away.

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