Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

361. The Babysitter 4/10/2007
362. Five Star Restaurant 4/11/2007
363. My Mortality 4/13/2007
364. Nothing Can Bring Them Back 4/14/2007
365. Old Women Make Me Horny Part 2 2/22/2007
366. Many Doors Are Closed 4/25/2007
367. Spiked 5/16/2007
368. You Made Your Bed, Now You Can Lie In It 5/31/2007
369. I Want More Caviar 6/1/2007
370. Driving Over A Cliff 6/7/2007
371. Festus 6/12/2007
372. Transvestite 6/16/2007
373. I Shot My Dog 6/18/2007
374. Bitten 6/20/2007
375. God Is Number One 6/23/2007
376. You'D Better Stop Stealing! 6/30/2007
377. Keep Your Eyes On The Damn Road! 7/7/2007
378. I'Ve Paid For Those Beatings I Gave You 7/16/2007
379. I Love Rattlesnake 7/19/2007
380. Flat Foot 7/26/2007
381. Bumble Bee 8/1/2007
382. Apple Pie 8/8/2007
383. I Believe In Love A Little Less Each Day 8/10/2007
384. It's Not A Dress 8/15/2007
385. I Slept With Daffy Duck 8/16/2007
386. Antique Refrigerator 8/17/2007
387. Butter And Eggs 8/25/2007
388. Service Without A Smile 8/29/2007
389. V8 8/30/2007
390. Return Or Burn 2/14/2019
391. A Fate Worse Than Death 2/14/2019
392. I'd Rather Watch Paint Dry 2/14/2019
393. We Got No Time For That Crap! 2/22/2019
394. Gelded Race Horse 2/22/2019
395. Crosby Park 2/25/2019
396. Kool-Aid Criminal 3/4/2019
397. Ed 3/4/2019
398. Rest In Peace, Mom - Part Iv 3/6/2019
399. The Gift Of Swift 3/6/2019
400. Robert G. Durant 3/7/2019

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Sasha Anonymous (9/6/2007 7:16:00 AM)

    Marvelous writing... ^_^

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Emily =) (4/6/2007 10:13:00 AM)

    I love all of your poems they are filled with humor and sadness, light hearted and serious-brilliant.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Buried Alive (12/24/2006 7:36:00 PM)

    I found 'I had sex with my mother-in-law' to be the funniest one I read.I was
    laughing my head off. I wonder if you will be writing a second part to it.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Jeff Hobbs Jeff Hobbs (7/24/2006 7:55:00 AM)

    Loved the crammed things up your ass poem - I thought it was going to suck a pineapple, instead it inserted one! Very funny, very very funny. You should allow comments on your poems so that you can bathe in the glory!

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

Xbox 360

Last Christmas I went to Wal-mart to buy the last XBOX 360 they had.
But a man grabbed it as I reached for it and that made me mad.
I tripped him with my foot and he fell to the floor.
I grabbed the XBOX 360 and ran out of the store.
But I forgot to pay for it and I went to jail.
When my son didn't get his XBOX 360, he raised hell.
While I was behind bars, it was hard for me to cope.
But things got worse one day when I dropped my soap.

Read the full of Xbox 360


Now you'll go to prison with attempted rape.
Thank goodness the lady was able to escape.
You won't enjoy going back to jail.
When she kicked you in the crotch, it must have hurt like hell.
You thought you could destroy her with your attack.
But this time the lady fought back.

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