Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

361. You'Re A Dirty Rat 4/7/2007
362. The Train 4/8/2007
363. The Babysitter 4/10/2007
364. Five Star Restaurant 4/11/2007
365. My Mortality 4/13/2007
366. Nothing Can Bring Them Back 4/14/2007
367. Spiked 5/16/2007
368. You Made Your Bed, Now You Can Lie In It 5/31/2007
369. I Want More Caviar 6/1/2007
370. Driving Over A Cliff 6/7/2007
371. Festus 6/12/2007
372. Transvestite 6/16/2007
373. I Shot My Dog 6/18/2007
374. Bitten 6/20/2007
375. God Is Number One 6/23/2007
376. You'D Better Stop Stealing! 6/30/2007
377. Keep Your Eyes On The Damn Road! 7/7/2007
378. Old Women Make Me Horny Part 2 2/22/2007
379. Many Doors Are Closed 4/25/2007
380. My Father 5/2/2007
381. That Damn Dog 5/9/2007
382. I'Ve Paid For Those Beatings I Gave You 7/16/2007
383. I Love Rattlesnake 7/19/2007
384. Flat Foot 7/26/2007
385. Bumble Bee 8/1/2007
386. Apple Pie 8/8/2007
387. I Believe In Love A Little Less Each Day 8/10/2007
388. It's Not A Dress 8/15/2007
389. I Slept With Daffy Duck 8/16/2007
390. Antique Refrigerator 8/17/2007
391. Butter And Eggs 8/25/2007
392. Service Without A Smile 8/29/2007
393. V8 8/30/2007
394. Married More Times Than Elizabeth Taylor 9/1/2007
395. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Part 3 9/7/2007
396. Cia 9/9/2007
397. Your Days Of Abusing Him Are Going To Stop 9/11/2007
398. That Damn Two Cents! 9/13/2007
399. I Snapped 9/20/2007
400. Please Feed My Daughter 9/22/2007

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds


Now you'll go to prison with attempted rape.
Thank goodness the lady was able to escape.
You won't enjoy going back to jail.
When she kicked you in the crotch, it must have hurt like hell.
You thought you could destroy her with your attack.
But this time the lady fought back.

[Report Error]