Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

361. Those Damn Pigs Feet 3/12/2007
362. I'M A Little Person 3/19/2007
363. I'M Not Bigfoot 3/27/2007
364. Jimmy 4/1/2007
365. I Committed Murder 4/4/2007
366. You'Re A Dirty Rat 4/7/2007
367. The Train 4/8/2007
368. The Babysitter 4/10/2007
369. Five Star Restaurant 4/11/2007
370. My Mortality 4/13/2007
371. Nothing Can Bring Them Back 4/14/2007
372. Spiked 5/16/2007
373. You Made Your Bed, Now You Can Lie In It 5/31/2007
374. I Want More Caviar 6/1/2007
375. Driving Over A Cliff 6/7/2007
376. Festus 6/12/2007
377. Transvestite 6/16/2007
378. I Shot My Dog 6/18/2007
379. Bitten 6/20/2007
380. God Is Number One 6/23/2007
381. You'D Better Stop Stealing! 6/30/2007
382. Keep Your Eyes On The Damn Road! 7/7/2007
383. Many Doors Are Closed 4/25/2007
384. My Father 5/2/2007
385. That Damn Dog 5/9/2007
386. I'Ve Paid For Those Beatings I Gave You 7/16/2007
387. Flat Foot 7/26/2007
388. Bumble Bee 8/1/2007
389. Apple Pie 8/8/2007
390. I Believe In Love A Little Less Each Day 8/10/2007
391. It's Not A Dress 8/15/2007
392. I Slept With Daffy Duck 8/16/2007
393. Antique Refrigerator 8/17/2007
394. Butter And Eggs 8/25/2007
395. Service Without A Smile 8/29/2007
396. V8 8/30/2007
397. Married More Times Than Elizabeth Taylor 9/1/2007
398. Ace Up My Sleeve 10/14/2007
399. Doll 10/15/2007
400. Garfield 10/16/2007

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds

Yellow Pocket Bike

I love cruising on my yellow pocket bike.
As I ride down the road, I love what it feels like.
It has a semi-automatic transmission with four gears.
The sound of its engine is music to my ears.
My bike is small but it has 70 CCs of power.
It will go up to fifty miles per hour.
But I never go fast.
I treat this bike like a baby because I want it to last.
Parents should exercise caution because these bikes aren't toys.

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