Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

401. I Snapped 9/20/2007
402. Please Feed My Daughter 9/22/2007
403. Ace Up My Sleeve 10/14/2007
404. Doll 10/15/2007
405. Garfield 10/16/2007
406. Every Moment Should Be Treasured 10/17/2007
407. Full House 10/23/2007
408. Shotgun Wedding 10/24/2007
409. Rocky Vii 10/29/2007
410. Halloween 10/31/2007
411. Father-In-Law 11/1/2007
412. Robert Goulet 11/2/2007
413. George 11/3/2007
414. You Weren'T Delivered By A Stork! 11/4/2007
415. I Kissed Another Girl 11/5/2007
416. That's Gotta Hurt! 11/11/2007
417. Jesus 11/13/2007
418. My Dentist's Revenge 11/16/2007
419. Many Doors Are Closed 4/25/2007
420. My Father 5/2/2007
421. That Damn Dog 5/9/2007
422. The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword 9/29/2007
423. Perverts 10/6/2007
424. Great Granddad 10/7/2007
425. Keep Them Coming 10/10/2007
426. I'Ll Put Her On A Pedestal 10/12/2007
427. The Hitchhiker 12/2/2007
428. Charlie 12/10/2007
429. If Eve Hadn'T Ate That Apple 12/12/2007
430. Pancakes 12/18/2007
431. Giving Thanks 11/24/2011
432. Let's Pray For Charles Johnson 11/27/2011
433. Eternal Love 12/21/2011
434. A Christmas Miracle 12/25/2011
435. Prince 4/14/2012
436. Titanic 4/15/2012
437. The Late Roger Williams 10/8/2012
438. I Will Not Give Up! 4/29/2012
439. Sixty-Five 10/18/2012
440. Mitt Romney 10/23/2012

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds

A Day Of Bad Luck

All day long I've had bad luck.
This morning I got on an elevator and it got stuck.
I had a panic attack and thought I was going to die.
I asked a man to put out his cigarette and he stuck it in my eye.

A guy tried to take my taxi so he and I had a bout.
I thought I could win but he turned me inside out.
I learned that I have a jaw that's made of glass.
I lost several of my teeth when that guy kicked my ass.

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