Randy Johnson


Randy Johnson Poems

441. Rest In Peace, Mom 3/11/2013
442. Road Rash 12/4/2007
443. Statutory Rape 10/13/2007
444. Say It, Not Spray It 9/30/2007
445. Only A Monster Could Do That 7/12/2007
446. You'Re Living High On The Hog 7/16/2007
447. Five Finger Discount 5/12/2007
448. A Sore Loser 9/23/2007
449. Shut The Damn Door! 9/4/2007
450. Cat The Bounty Hunter 4/5/2007
451. I'M Ted Bundy's Son 3/18/2007
452. Don'T Flash Your Cash 12/31/2010
453. Day Of Thanks 11/25/2010
454. Nintendo Wii 11/17/2006
455. Help Your Fellow Man 11/25/2010
456. This Noose Around My Neck 11/21/2010
457. Red Light 11/11/2006
458. Gene Barry 9/12/2010
459. Jesus Was The Greatest Hero 11/7/2010
460. Road Rage 8/8/2006
461. Ladies Man 7/17/2006
462. X-Ray Glasses 6/29/2006
463. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Vi 7/21/2009
464. Democrat 9/10/2008
465. God Has Been Good To Me 5/28/2008
466. Hanna-Barbera 5/7/2008
467. Miserable Little Brat 5/25/2008
468. You Took A Dump In My Pool 4/30/2008
469. Ex-Best Friends 4/20/2008
470. That Poor Cat 4/11/2008
471. You Are My Flesh And Blood 3/26/2008
472. Clown Shoes 2/3/2008
473. Black Rights 2/4/2008
474. You Have Angered Me 8/14/2007
475. Jesus Was The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived 6/22/2007
476. That's Not Rape 5/11/2007
477. Now He Has Breasts 4/15/2006
478. My Grandpa 9/3/2005
479. Ed Mcmahon 6/29/2009
480. My Wife Is A Slut 1/7/2009

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.
She...

Read the full of 800 Pounds

My Grandpa

(Dedicated to Burkette Greene who passed away February 7,1998.)


He cherished everyday of his life.
He was a casual man with five kids and a wife.
Sadly his wife died and left him on his own.
He then raised his kids and he did it all alone.

He was eighty-seven when he passed away.

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