Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

441. Jesus Was The Greatest Hero 11/7/2010
442. Road Rage 8/8/2006
443. Ladies Man 7/17/2006
444. X-Ray Glasses 6/29/2006
445. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Vi 7/21/2009
446. Democrat 9/10/2008
447. Hanna-Barbera 5/7/2008
448. Miserable Little Brat 5/25/2008
449. You Took A Dump In My Pool 4/30/2008
450. Ex-Best Friends 4/20/2008
451. That Poor Cat 4/11/2008
452. You Are My Flesh And Blood 3/26/2008
453. Clown Shoes 2/3/2008
454. Black Rights 2/4/2008
455. You Have Angered Me 8/14/2007
456. That's Not Rape 5/11/2007
457. Now He Has Breasts 4/15/2006
458. My Grandpa 9/3/2005
459. Incompetent Doctor 9/20/2005
460. Obama Loves America 9/7/2008
461. No More Grits! 1/27/2009
462. He Bought Me A Grave Plot 7/24/2006
463. Quintuplets 10/2/2010
464. Puppy The Chihuahua 1/23/2011
465. Pancakes 12/18/2007
466. Hippocratic Oath 3/20/2012
467. Alvin And The Chipmunks 12/15/2007
468. Everybody Loved Tom Bosley 10/20/2010
469. Paddling Bully 8/28/2006
470. Honor Thy Parents 12/15/2010
471. My Wife Is A Slut 1/7/2009
472. Racist People Are Going To Vote For Obama 9/17/2008
473. George Washington 7/23/2008
474. Terminally Ill 9/13/2005
475. World's Biggest Player 5/10/2009
476. Thunder And Lightning 6/2/2007
477. I Met God 7/20/2007
478. I Give New Meaning To The Word Nerd 7/28/2007
479. Spoiled Rotten 9/19/2005
480. Pepe Le Pew Raped My Cat 3/20/2008

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds


Now you'll go to prison with attempted rape.
Thank goodness the lady was able to escape.
You won't enjoy going back to jail.
When she kicked you in the crotch, it must have hurt like hell.
You thought you could destroy her with your attack.
But this time the lady fought back.

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