Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

481. Spoiled Rotten 9/19/2005
482. Thunder And Lightning 6/2/2007
483. I Met God 7/20/2007
484. I Give New Meaning To The Word Nerd 7/28/2007
485. Pepe Le Pew Raped My Cat 3/20/2008
486. I Don'T Need A Babysitter! 2/26/2008
487. Hot Dogs With Chili 12/29/2007
488. Late Again 12/30/2007
489. Life Isn'T Always Fair 12/5/2007
490. Illegal Alien 11/26/2007
491. God Will Take Care Of You 11/27/2007
492. George Washington 7/23/2008
493. World's Biggest Player 5/10/2009
494. My Wife Is A Slut 1/7/2009
495. Racist People Are Going To Vote For Obama 9/17/2008
496. Terminally Ill 9/13/2005
497. Everybody Loved Tom Bosley 10/20/2010
498. Paddling Bully 8/28/2006
499. Going Berserk Over A Playstation 3 11/17/2006
500. Honor Thy Parents 12/15/2010
501. Alvin And The Chipmunks 12/15/2007
502. Hippocratic Oath 3/20/2012
503. Gift From God 12/9/2010
504. Streets Of Gold 11/27/2010
505. Ambulance Sirens 4/15/2007
506. Worship God 7/9/2007
507. He Ate Dog Food 11/22/2006
508. Your Dog Is Humping My Leg 12/16/2008
509. Ida 7/6/2008
510. Valentine 2/14/2008
511. The Apple Of God's Eye 12/23/2007
512. Electric Chair 1/10/2008
513. A Cop's Revenge 3/1/2008
514. Vegetarian 1/19/2008
515. God Loves Everybody 7/5/2007
516. Returning Food 4/26/2008
517. Neglectful Father 3/28/2008
518. Large Breasts 1/2/2010
519. Faith In The Lord 12/11/2007
520. If You Want To Succeed 3/27/2008

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds

A Day Of Bad Luck

All day long I've had bad luck.
This morning I got on an elevator and it got stuck.
I had a panic attack and thought I was going to die.
I asked a man to put out his cigarette and he stuck it in my eye.

A guy tried to take my taxi so he and I had a bout.
I thought I could win but he turned me inside out.
I learned that I have a jaw that's made of glass.
I lost several of my teeth when that guy kicked my ass.

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