Randy Johnson


Randy Johnson Poems

561. Statutory Rape 10/13/2007
562. Say It, Not Spray It 9/30/2007
563. Only A Monster Could Do That 7/12/2007
564. You'Re Living High On The Hog 7/16/2007
565. Five Finger Discount 5/12/2007
566. A Sore Loser 9/23/2007
567. Shut The Damn Door! 9/4/2007
568. Cat The Bounty Hunter 4/5/2007
569. I'M Ted Bundy's Son 3/18/2007
570. Don'T Flash Your Cash 12/31/2010
571. Day Of Thanks 11/25/2010
572. Nintendo Wii 11/17/2006
573. Help Your Fellow Man 11/25/2010
574. This Noose Around My Neck 11/21/2010
575. Red Light 11/11/2006
576. Gene Barry 9/12/2010
577. Jesus Was The Greatest Hero 11/7/2010
578. Road Rage 8/8/2006
579. Ladies Man 7/17/2006
580. X-Ray Glasses 6/29/2006
581. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Vi 7/21/2009
582. Democrat 9/10/2008
583. God Has Been Good To Me 5/28/2008
584. Hanna-Barbera 5/7/2008
585. Miserable Little Brat 5/25/2008
586. You Took A Dump In My Pool 4/30/2008
587. Ex-Best Friends 4/20/2008
588. That Poor Cat 4/11/2008
589. You Are My Flesh And Blood 3/26/2008
590. Clown Shoes 2/3/2008
591. Black Rights 2/4/2008
592. You Have Angered Me 8/14/2007
593. Jesus Was The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived 6/22/2007
594. That's Not Rape 5/11/2007
595. Now He Has Breasts 4/15/2006
596. My Grandpa 9/3/2005
597. Spoiled Rotten 9/19/2005
598. Thunder And Lightning 6/2/2007
599. I Met God 7/20/2007
600. I Give New Meaning To The Word Nerd 7/28/2007

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Sasha Anonymous (9/6/2007 7:16:00 AM)

    Marvelous writing... ^_^

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Emily =) (4/6/2007 10:13:00 AM)

    I love all of your poems they are filled with humor and sadness, light hearted and serious-brilliant.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Buried Alive (12/24/2006 7:36:00 PM)

    I found 'I had sex with my mother-in-law' to be the funniest one I read.I was
    laughing my head off. I wonder if you will be writing a second part to it.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Jeff Hobbs Jeff Hobbs (7/24/2006 7:55:00 AM)

    Loved the crammed things up your ass poem - I thought it was going to suck a pineapple, instead it inserted one! Very funny, very very funny. You should allow comments on your poems so that you can bathe in the glory!

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

100 Dogs

When I was seven, I had 100 dogs and that was too many.
My dad would cuss while my mama spanked my fanny.
They took dumps on the furniture and all over the floor.
When I came home one day, I didn't have them anymore.
I was shocked to learn that all of my dogs had been sold.
That was nearly thirty years ago, now my parents are old.
My furry companions were gone and I was sad because I was alone.
I got even yesterday when I put my parents in a nursing home.

Read the full of 100 Dogs

My Grandpa

(Dedicated to Burkette Greene who passed away February 7,1998.)


He cherished everyday of his life.
He was a casual man with five kids and a wife.
Sadly his wife died and left him on his own.
He then raised his kids and he did it all alone.

He was eighty-seven when he passed away.