Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

41. Stop Putting Yourself Down! 6/9/2007
42. To Err Is Human 6/11/2007
43. I Just Pulled The Plug 6/15/2007
44. I'Ll Send You Straight To Hell 7/10/2007
45. F 7/11/2007
46. 72 Hours 8/22/2007
47. Let Go Of Your Hate 8/24/2007
48. I Hit A Student 8/26/2007
49. Tea & A 8/27/2007
50. Elmer Fudd Shot Me 8/31/2007
51. The Leaves Are Falling From The Trees 10/1/2007
52. Jesus Will Enrich Your Life 10/2/2007
53. Six Days 10/8/2007
54. Womanhood 10/11/2007
55. He Should'Ve Hired A Professional 7/30/2007
56. I Voted Against Phil Bredesen 8/3/2007
57. His Final Breath 8/4/2007
58. The Bridge 8/13/2007
59. Buckingham Palace 10/25/2007
60. My Heart Is As Black As Coal 10/27/2007
61. I Lost A Thousand Bucks 11/3/2007
62. Life Is Short 11/7/2007
63. It's Too Late 11/9/2007
64. Bubble 11/10/2007
65. Suspended Animation 11/14/2007
66. Socks 11/15/2007
67. R U Thankful? 11/22/2007
68. Color Blind 11/23/2007
69. Guitar Hero Iii: Legends Of Rock 11/29/2007
70. The Stray 11/30/2007
71. Where's The Damn Mayo? ! 12/1/2007
72. Turned Away 12/3/2007
73. That Damn Beard! 12/4/2007
74. Thank You, God 12/8/2007
75. If Jesus Was Here 12/14/2007
76. I Wish I Was A Bird 12/19/2007
77. Nintendo's Rainchecks 12/20/2007
78. 2007 Comes To An End 12/31/2007
79. The Loch Ness Monster Raped Me 1/2/2008
80. Doom 1/4/2008

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Sasha Anonymous (9/6/2007 7:16:00 AM)

    Marvelous writing... ^_^

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Emily =) (4/6/2007 10:13:00 AM)

    I love all of your poems they are filled with humor and sadness, light hearted and serious-brilliant.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Buried Alive (12/24/2006 7:36:00 PM)

    I found 'I had sex with my mother-in-law' to be the funniest one I read.I was
    laughing my head off. I wonder if you will be writing a second part to it.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Jeff Hobbs Jeff Hobbs (7/24/2006 7:55:00 AM)

    Loved the crammed things up your ass poem - I thought it was going to suck a pineapple, instead it inserted one! Very funny, very very funny. You should allow comments on your poems so that you can bathe in the glory!

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

You Got My Sister Pregnant

You got my sister pregnant and refused to take responsibility.
You told her it's her problem and now you have to deal with me.
Let's step outside and deal with this like men.
When I get done, you won't shirk your responsibility again.
You told her to have an abortion even after she decided to have the child.
Now I'm pissed off and I'm about to go wild.
You refused to marry my sister but you will pay child support.
Or I'll beat the hell out of you and then take you to court.
Take my word when I tell you that it's wise not to mess with me.
I weigh nearly two hundred ...

Read the full of You Got My Sister Pregnant


Now you'll go to prison with attempted rape.
Thank goodness the lady was able to escape.
You won't enjoy going back to jail.
When she kicked you in the crotch, it must have hurt like hell.
You thought you could destroy her with your attack.
But this time the lady fought back.