Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

41. Stop Putting Yourself Down! 6/9/2007
42. To Err Is Human 6/11/2007
43. I Just Pulled The Plug 6/15/2007
44. I'Ll Send You Straight To Hell 7/10/2007
45. F 7/11/2007
46. 72 Hours 8/22/2007
47. Let Go Of Your Hate 8/24/2007
48. I Hit A Student 8/26/2007
49. Tea & A 8/27/2007
50. Elmer Fudd Shot Me 8/31/2007
51. The Leaves Are Falling From The Trees 10/1/2007
52. Jesus Will Enrich Your Life 10/2/2007
53. Six Days 10/8/2007
54. Womanhood 10/11/2007
55. He Should'Ve Hired A Professional 7/30/2007
56. I Voted Against Phil Bredesen 8/3/2007
57. His Final Breath 8/4/2007
58. The Bridge 8/13/2007
59. Buckingham Palace 10/25/2007
60. My Heart Is As Black As Coal 10/27/2007
61. I Lost A Thousand Bucks 11/3/2007
62. Life Is Short 11/7/2007
63. It's Too Late 11/9/2007
64. Bubble 11/10/2007
65. Suspended Animation 11/14/2007
66. Socks 11/15/2007
67. R U Thankful? 11/22/2007
68. Color Blind 11/23/2007
69. Guitar Hero Iii: Legends Of Rock 11/29/2007
70. The Stray 11/30/2007
71. Where's The Damn Mayo? ! 12/1/2007
72. Turned Away 12/3/2007
73. That Damn Beard! 12/4/2007
74. Thank You, God 12/8/2007
75. If Jesus Was Here 12/14/2007
76. I Wish I Was A Bird 12/19/2007
77. Nintendo's Rainchecks 12/20/2007
78. 2007 Comes To An End 12/31/2007
79. The Loch Ness Monster Raped Me 1/2/2008
80. Doom 1/4/2008

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds

A 2nd Poem About Hoss

(Instead of revising my original Hoss(Dan Blocker) poem, I decided to write another Hoss poem.)

He made Bonanza a great success.
He was born in Bowie County, Texas.
After Dan Blocker died, Bonanza went on.
But it wasn't the same after he was gone.

At fourteen pounds he was the largest baby born in his town.
Eighteen years later he stood six feet three and weighed three hundred pounds.

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