Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

641. I'Ll Be There To Hold Your Hand 6/4/2007
642. You'Re Living In Paradise 4/30/2006
643. French 9/17/2005
644. My Stinking Honda 9/14/2005
645. Philanthropist 9/6/2005
646. Donkey Kong Junior 12/17/2007
647. Deer Hunting 10/21/2007
648. Perseverance 10/19/2007
649. The Good Samaritan 2/22/2007
650. Don'T Commit Suicide 12/6/2010
651. Burger 2/11/2008
652. Batman 3/9/2008
653. Everybody Deserves A Second Chance 12/16/2007
654. Ebenezer Scrooge 12/25/2011
655. The Apple Of God's Eye 12/23/2007
656. 4 A.M. 2/23/2007
657. Elvis Presley: The Same Amount Of Time 8/16/2019
658. Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Dumb 8/2/2006
659. Like The Boy Who Cried Wolf 8/10/2006
660. Frankenstein's Monster 12/22/2010
661. I'M Spider-Man 4/23/2007
662. Symbol Of Love 1/16/2008
663. A Day Of Bad Luck 9/7/2005
664. 100 Dogs 11/28/2007
665. You Got My Sister Pregnant 10/24/2006
666. Xbox 360 8/5/2006
667. A Date With Pamela Anderson 9/3/2005
668. 800 Pounds 10/11/2006

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Sasha Anonymous (9/6/2007 7:16:00 AM)

    Marvelous writing... ^_^

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Emily =) (4/6/2007 10:13:00 AM)

    I love all of your poems they are filled with humor and sadness, light hearted and serious-brilliant.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Buried Alive (12/24/2006 7:36:00 PM)

    I found 'I had sex with my mother-in-law' to be the funniest one I read.I was
    laughing my head off. I wonder if you will be writing a second part to it.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Jeff Hobbs Jeff Hobbs (7/24/2006 7:55:00 AM)

    Loved the crammed things up your ass poem - I thought it was going to suck a pineapple, instead it inserted one! Very funny, very very funny. You should allow comments on your poems so that you can bathe in the glory!

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

You Got My Sister Pregnant

You got my sister pregnant and refused to take responsibility.
You told her it's her problem and now you have to deal with me.
Let's step outside and deal with this like men.
When I get done, you won't shirk your responsibility again.
You told her to have an abortion even after she decided to have the child.
Now I'm pissed off and I'm about to go wild.
You refused to marry my sister but you will pay child support.
Or I'll beat the hell out of you and then take you to court.
Take my word when I tell you that it's wise not to mess with me.
I weigh nearly two hundred ...

Read the full of You Got My Sister Pregnant

A Day Of Bad Luck

All day long I've had bad luck.
This morning I got on an elevator and it got stuck.
I had a panic attack and thought I was going to die.
I asked a man to put out his cigarette and he stuck it in my eye.

A guy tried to take my taxi so he and I had a bout.
I thought I could win but he turned me inside out.
I learned that I have a jaw that's made of glass.
I lost several of my teeth when that guy kicked my ass.

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