Hit Title Date Added
Farewell Jack Palance

(Dedicated to Jack Palance who died November 10,2006.)

You starred in Ripley's believe it or not and in plenty of movies too.
You gave a good performance in Batman until Jack Nicholson murdered you.


They did something in the late eighties that was bad.
They stopped selling records and that made me mad.
I'm upset because I can no longer buy records in the stores.
They still make a few records but nothing like they did before.

Norman Part 3

When you were a teenager, you and your friend killed a cat.
It was wrong of the two of you to do that.
You showed the dead cat to your sister.
She blessed out both of you because it pissed her.


(Dedicated to Gerald Ford who died December 26,2006.)

In 1974 you became the 38th President of the United States.
You were President for only a short time but you were great.

She Poured My Beers Down The Drain

(This is a fictional poem)

After I got married, I learned that my wife believes it's wrong to drink.
She poured my beers down the drain and that really stinks.

End Of 2006

Today 2006 ends.
Tomorrow 2007 begins.
Some good things happened in 2006 and some things that were bad.
Some things made us happy, some things made us sad.

Child Beater

(This is a fictional poem but this really does happen to people.)

I met your son today and I noticed that he has bruises on his skin.
You've been beating on him but you won't do it again.

Picking Up Women

(This is a fictional poem)

I regretted trying to pick up a woman who was drinking coffee.
I used a line on her and she threw it at me.

Our Vows Meant Nothing To Her

(This is a fictional poem)

When I started losing my hair, my wife was appalled.
She walked out the door just because I'm going bald.

Don'T Have The Special!

(This is a fictional poem)

I had the special at a diner here in Tennessee.
When I learned what I was eating, I tossed my cookies.

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