Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

521. My Stinking Honda 9/14/2005
522. I'Ll Be There To Hold Your Hand 6/4/2007
523. You'Re Living In Paradise 4/30/2006
524. Donkey Kong Junior 12/17/2007
525. Money Tree 8/23/2006
526. Whooped By A Kindergartner 9/16/2005
527. Philanthropist 9/6/2005
528. Lousy Pilot 9/13/2006
529. Dumbass 9/4/2006
530. Deer Hunting 10/21/2007
531. Electric Chair 1/10/2008
532. Perseverance 10/19/2007
533. Don'T Commit Suicide 12/6/2010
534. The Good Samaritan 2/22/2007
535. Batman 3/9/2008
536. Burger 2/11/2008
537. Everybody Deserves A Second Chance 12/16/2007
538. Ed Mcmahon 6/29/2009
539. Selena 4/25/2007
540. 4 A.M. 2/23/2007
541. Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Dumb 8/2/2006
542. Like The Boy Who Cried Wolf 8/10/2006
543. French 9/17/2005
544. I'M Spider-Man 4/23/2007
545. Symbol Of Love 1/16/2008
546. A Day Of Bad Luck 9/7/2005
547. 100 Dogs 11/28/2007
548. Ebenezer Scrooge 12/25/2011
549. You Got My Sister Pregnant 10/24/2006
550. Xbox 360 8/5/2006
551. A Date With Pamela Anderson 9/3/2005
552. Frankenstein's Monster 12/22/2010
553. 800 Pounds 10/11/2006

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds

A 2nd Poem About Hoss

(Instead of revising my original Hoss(Dan Blocker) poem, I decided to write another Hoss poem.)

He made Bonanza a great success.
He was born in Bowie County, Texas.
After Dan Blocker died, Bonanza went on.
But it wasn't the same after he was gone.

At fourteen pounds he was the largest baby born in his town.
Eighteen years later he stood six feet three and weighed three hundred pounds.

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