Randy Johnson Poems
|642.||Whooped By A Kindergartner||9/16/2005|
|644.||I'Ll Be There To Hold Your Hand||6/4/2007|
|645.||You'Re Living In Paradise||4/30/2006|
|647.||My Stinking Honda||9/14/2005|
|650.||Don'T Commit Suicide||12/6/2010|
|651.||The Good Samaritan||2/22/2007|
|654.||Everybody Deserves A Second Chance||12/16/2007|
|656.||Elvis Presley: The Same Amount Of Time||8/16/2019|
|658.||Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Dumb||8/2/2006|
|659.||Like The Boy Who Cried Wolf||8/10/2006|
|662.||Symbol Of Love||1/16/2008|
|663.||A Day Of Bad Luck||9/7/2005|
|664.||You Got My Sister Pregnant||10/24/2006|
|667.||A Date With Pamela Anderson||9/3/2005|
Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.
(Dedicated to Burkette Greene who passed away February 7,1998.)
He cherished everyday of his life.
He was a casual man with five kids and a wife.
Sadly his wife died and left him on his own.
He then raised his kids and he did it all alone.
He was eighty-seven when he passed away.