Randy Johnson Poems

Hit Title Date Added
Anna Nicole

(Dedicated to Anna Nicole Smith who died February 8,2007.)

You were blond, beautiful and busty too.
You were very young and America misses you.

Farley Forever

(Dedicated to Chris Farley who died December 18,1997.)

We loved a comedian who was very funny and loved to shout.
Chris Farley was the man who I'm talking about.


(This is a fictional poem)

I'm in Vietnam and I'm a prisoner of war.
Regaining my freedom is the only thing I have to live for.

I Ate That Roach

Last week I tried to get out of paying for a meal.
But when it backfired, I became quite ill.

Go Straight To Hell

Some women have rejected me because I don't have a lot of money.
They thought they were being smart but they were really being crummy.

So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Part 3

Geico.com makes fun of us and now ABC is making fun of us too.
They'll both soon be bankrupt because we cavemen are going to sue.


I committed murder and it bothers me everyday.
I killed over twenty people when I was with the CIA.

Your Days Of Abusing Him Are Going To Stop

Your son came to school today with a bloody lip and a black eye.
He said you did it and then he started to cry.

That Damn Two Cents!

I had to pay two cents to the post office because of you.
Now opening a can of whoop ass is what I'm going to have to do.

I Snapped

I've never been happy because I've endured one tragedy after another.
It began at the age of six when I lost my father and mother.