Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

521. My Stinking Honda 9/14/2005
522. You'Re Living In Paradise 4/30/2006
523. Whooped By A Kindergartner 9/16/2005
524. God Wants Us To Be Happy 1/26/2009
525. Gas Prices 5/5/2008
526. Deer Hunting 10/21/2007
527. God Has Been Good To Me 5/28/2008
528. Jesus Was The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived 6/22/2007
529. Full House 10/23/2007
530. Don'T Commit Suicide 12/6/2010
531. The Good Samaritan 2/22/2007
532. Perseverance 10/19/2007
533. Frog 3/12/2008
534. God Will Take Care Of You 11/27/2007
535. Going Berserk Over A Playstation 3 11/17/2006
536. Burger 2/11/2008
537. Batman 3/9/2008
538. Everybody Deserves A Second Chance 12/16/2007
539. Philanthropist 9/6/2005
540. 4 A.M. 2/23/2007
541. Like The Boy Who Cried Wolf 8/10/2006
542. Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Dumb 8/2/2006
543. Ebenezer Scrooge 12/25/2011
544. Symbol Of Love 1/16/2008
545. A Day Of Bad Luck 9/7/2005
546. 100 Dogs 11/28/2007
547. I'M Spider-Man 4/23/2007
548. You Got My Sister Pregnant 10/24/2006
549. French 9/17/2005
550. Xbox 360 8/5/2006
551. A Date With Pamela Anderson 9/3/2005
552. Frankenstein's Monster 12/22/2010
553. 800 Pounds 10/11/2006

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds

A Day Of Bad Luck

All day long I've had bad luck.
This morning I got on an elevator and it got stuck.
I had a panic attack and thought I was going to die.
I asked a man to put out his cigarette and he stuck it in my eye.

A guy tried to take my taxi so he and I had a bout.
I thought I could win but he turned me inside out.
I learned that I have a jaw that's made of glass.
I lost several of my teeth when that guy kicked my ass.

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