Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

81. The Stray 11/30/2007
82. Where's The Damn Mayo? ! 12/1/2007
83. Turned Away 12/3/2007
84. That Damn Beard! 12/4/2007
85. Thank You, God 12/8/2007
86. If Jesus Was Here 12/14/2007
87. I Wish I Was A Bird 12/19/2007
88. Nintendo's Rainchecks 12/20/2007
89. I Saved Christmas 12/24/2007
90. Christmas Came From Jesus 12/25/2007
91. The Temptations Of Christ 12/27/2007
92. How Was God Created? 12/28/2007
93. 2007 Comes To An End 12/31/2007
94. The Loch Ness Monster Raped Me 1/2/2008
95. Doom 1/4/2008
96. Malcolm In The Middle 1/5/2008
97. You Might As Well Have Cut Her Heart Out 1/6/2008
98. My Life Is Flashing Before My Eyes 1/7/2008
99. Dialysis 1/8/2008
100. Villechaize 1/8/2008
101. She's In Labor 1/10/2008
102. Buttermilk 1/20/2008
103. Cain And Abel 1/21/2008
104. Burned To The Ground 1/22/2008
105. Seed 1/23/2008
106. Cheap! 1/24/2008
107. Monster 1/25/2008
108. Dear John 1/25/2008
109. Sixty 1/27/2008
110. Butterfly 1/28/2008
111. He Shot His Daughter 1/29/2008
112. The Virgin 2/1/2008
113. Obama 'Revised Edition' 2/2/2008
114. I Voted Against Phil Bredesen Part 2 1/12/2008
115. Bluto Vs. Popeye 1/13/2008
116. Ex-Producer 1/15/2008
117. Obama 1/16/2008
118. 220 Volt Shock 1/18/2008
119. The Little Boy's Cat 2/4/2008
120. I Like Black People 2/5/2008

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Sasha Anonymous (9/6/2007 7:16:00 AM)

    Marvelous writing... ^_^

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Emily =) (4/6/2007 10:13:00 AM)

    I love all of your poems they are filled with humor and sadness, light hearted and serious-brilliant.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Buried Alive (12/24/2006 7:36:00 PM)

    I found 'I had sex with my mother-in-law' to be the funniest one I read.I was
    laughing my head off. I wonder if you will be writing a second part to it.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Jeff Hobbs Jeff Hobbs (7/24/2006 7:55:00 AM)

    Loved the crammed things up your ass poem - I thought it was going to suck a pineapple, instead it inserted one! Very funny, very very funny. You should allow comments on your poems so that you can bathe in the glory!

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

A Date With Pamela Anderson

I met Pamela Anderson and we went on a date.
She was very becoming and everything went great.
It was an honor to date this star.
I made her forget about Tommy Lee and it wasn't hard.

When I first asked her out, she decided to resist.
But at the end of our date she and I kissed.
As I popped the question, I got down on one knee and begged.
And you're most likely aware that I'm pulling your leg.

Read the full of A Date With Pamela Anderson


Now you'll go to prison with attempted rape.
Thank goodness the lady was able to escape.
You won't enjoy going back to jail.
When she kicked you in the crotch, it must have hurt like hell.
You thought you could destroy her with your attack.
But this time the lady fought back.

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