Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

81. Malcolm In The Middle 1/5/2008
82. You Might As Well Have Cut Her Heart Out 1/6/2008
83. My Life Is Flashing Before My Eyes 1/7/2008
84. Dialysis 1/8/2008
85. Villechaize 1/8/2008
86. She's In Labor 1/10/2008
87. I Saved Christmas 12/24/2007
88. Christmas Came From Jesus 12/25/2007
89. The Temptations Of Christ 12/27/2007
90. How Was God Created? 12/28/2007
91. I Voted Against Phil Bredesen Part 2 1/12/2008
92. Bluto Vs. Popeye 1/13/2008
93. Ex-Producer 1/15/2008
94. Buttermilk 1/20/2008
95. Cain And Abel 1/21/2008
96. Burned To The Ground 1/22/2008
97. Seed 1/23/2008
98. Cheap! 1/24/2008
99. Monster 1/25/2008
100. Dear John 1/25/2008
101. Sixty 1/27/2008
102. Butterfly 1/28/2008
103. He Shot His Daughter 1/29/2008
104. The Virgin 2/1/2008
105. Obama 'Revised Edition' 2/2/2008
106. Greatness Of The Lord 6/27/2007
107. Homeless And Alone 6/29/2007
108. Obama 1/16/2008
109. 220 Volt Shock 1/18/2008
110. The Little Boy's Cat 2/4/2008
111. I Like Black People 2/5/2008
112. The Day The Little Boy Drowned 2/6/2008
113. You Are Too Young To Get Married 2/9/2008
114. Morse 2/10/2008
115. Seventy-Eights 2/15/2008
116. Obama Can Do It! 2/16/2008
117. Our Son 2/18/2008
118. You Gave A Little Boy A Joint 2/19/2008
119. Candy Bar 2/21/2008
120. Hillary Attacks 2/23/2008

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds

Yellow Pocket Bike

I love cruising on my yellow pocket bike.
As I ride down the road, I love what it feels like.
It has a semi-automatic transmission with four gears.
The sound of its engine is music to my ears.
My bike is small but it has 70 CCs of power.
It will go up to fifty miles per hour.
But I never go fast.
I treat this bike like a baby because I want it to last.
Parents should exercise caution because these bikes aren't toys.

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