Randy Johnson Poems

Hit Title Date Added
Don'T Commit Suicide

Don't commit suicide, you can't afford the cost.
If you commit suicide, your soul will be lost.
Your death will bring others nothing but pain and sorrow.
Don't commit suicide, things may improve tomorrow.

Deer Hunting

(This is a fictional poem)

When my friend and I went deer hunting, I accidentally shot a doe.
If you're wondering if I got away with it, the answer is no.

Donkey Kong Junior

Mario captured and locked up a big brown ape.
It was up to the gorilla's son to help him escape.

Eternal Love

I want to tell you that I love you before my death.
I need you to know how I feel before I take my final breath.
I was unable to tell you those three words before.
I'm telling you now because we won't be together anymore.

I'Ll Be There To Hold Your Hand

You have a drinking problem but you can overcome it if you try.
I pity you because of the great pain I see in your eyes.
Some people judge you because you drink.
But nobody is perfect and I think that judging you stinks.


(Dedicated to Victor French who died of cancer on June 15,1989)

You starred on Highway to heaven, Carter country and even on Little house on the prairie.
It's sad to know that you are dead and buried.

My Stinking Honda

Honda makes a great bike.
But there was one Honda I never liked.
My Honda was a piece of junk.
It was an XR75 and it stunk.

You'Re Living In Paradise

I'm getting tired of hearing your silly complaints.
You're angry because your husband isn't a saint.
Your husband forgets and leaves the toilet seat up and you think this isn't very nice.
You think you have it bad but you're really living in paradise.

Lousy Pilot

I decided to fly planes for a living.
I learned that there are a lot of people who are unforgiving.


They just found tons of oil on my property.