Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

561. Dumbass 9/4/2006
562. Money Tree 8/23/2006
563. The Babysitter 4/10/2007
564. Deer Hunting 10/21/2007
565. Nintendo Wii 11/17/2006
566. Don'T Commit Suicide 12/6/2010
567. Perseverance 10/19/2007
568. Batman 3/9/2008
569. Burger 2/11/2008
570. Everybody Deserves A Second Chance 12/16/2007
571. Ebenezer Scrooge 12/25/2011
572. The Apple Of God's Eye 12/23/2007
573. 4 A.M. 2/23/2007
574. Like The Boy Who Cried Wolf 8/10/2006
575. Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Dumb 8/2/2006
576. French 9/17/2005
577. The Good Samaritan 2/22/2007
578. Selena 4/25/2007
579. I'M Spider-Man 4/23/2007
580. Symbol Of Love 1/16/2008
581. A Day Of Bad Luck 9/7/2005
582. 100 Dogs 11/28/2007
583. You Got My Sister Pregnant 10/24/2006
584. Frankenstein's Monster 12/22/2010
585. Xbox 360 8/5/2006
586. A Date With Pamela Anderson 9/3/2005
587. 800 Pounds 10/11/2006

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Jeff Hobbs Jeff Hobbs (7/24/2006 7:55:00 AM)

    Loved the crammed things up your ass poem - I thought it was going to suck a pineapple, instead it inserted one! Very funny, very very funny. You should allow comments on your poems so that you can bathe in the glory!

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds

My Grandpa

(Dedicated to Burkette Greene who passed away February 7,1998.)

He cherished everyday of his life.
He was a casual man with five kids and a wife.
Sadly his wife died and left him on his own.
He then raised his kids and he did it all alone.

He was eighty-seven when he passed away.

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