Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

601. 40 Days And 40 Nights 11/6/2007
602. Selena 4/25/2007
603. Donkey Kong Junior 12/17/2007
604. Lousy Pilot 9/13/2006
605. Dumbass 9/4/2006
606. Whooped By A Kindergartner 9/16/2005
607. Money Tree 8/23/2006
608. I'Ll Be There To Hold Your Hand 6/4/2007
609. You'Re Living In Paradise 4/30/2006
610. French 9/17/2005
611. My Stinking Honda 9/14/2005
612. Philanthropist 9/6/2005
613. Deer Hunting 10/21/2007
614. Perseverance 10/19/2007
615. Don'T Commit Suicide 12/6/2010
616. The Good Samaritan 2/22/2007
617. Large Breasts 1/2/2010
618. Burger 2/11/2008
619. Batman 3/9/2008
620. Everybody Deserves A Second Chance 12/16/2007
621. Ebenezer Scrooge 12/25/2011
622. Elvis Presley: The Same Amount Of Time 8/16/2019
623. 4 A.M. 2/23/2007
624. Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Dumb 8/2/2006
625. Like The Boy Who Cried Wolf 8/10/2006
626. I'M Spider-Man 4/23/2007
627. Symbol Of Love 1/16/2008
628. A Day Of Bad Luck 9/7/2005
629. 100 Dogs 11/28/2007
630. You Got My Sister Pregnant 10/24/2006
631. Xbox 360 8/5/2006
632. Frankenstein's Monster 12/22/2010
633. A Date With Pamela Anderson 9/3/2005
634. 800 Pounds 10/11/2006

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Buried Alive (12/24/2006 7:36:00 PM)

    I found 'I had sex with my mother-in-law' to be the funniest one I read.I was
    laughing my head off. I wonder if you will be writing a second part to it.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Jeff Hobbs Jeff Hobbs (7/24/2006 7:55:00 AM)

    Loved the crammed things up your ass poem - I thought it was going to suck a pineapple, instead it inserted one! Very funny, very very funny. You should allow comments on your poems so that you can bathe in the glory!

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds

Yellow Pocket Bike

I love cruising on my yellow pocket bike.
As I ride down the road, I love what it feels like.
It has a semi-automatic transmission with four gears.
The sound of its engine is music to my ears.
My bike is small but it has 70 CCs of power.
It will go up to fifty miles per hour.
But I never go fast.
I treat this bike like a baby because I want it to last.
Parents should exercise caution because these bikes aren't toys.

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