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My Wife Is An Alien
(This is a fictional poem)

My wife is an alien and this morning she laid an egg.
She may be green but she has a great pair of legs.
I want you to know that you should be ashamed because you're a sinner.
You expect women to sleep with you just because you buy them dinner.
A woman isn't going to sleep with you just because you buy her a meal.
You're a womanizer and just being around you makes me extremely ill.
Your Grave Was Slowly Being Dug
(Dedicated to Heath Ledger who died January 22,2008.)

You starred as the joker but your death was no joke.
Millions of your fans now have hearts that are broke.
After I voted for George Bush in 2004, I learned that it was an unfortunate mistake.
I'm angry because he gave the oil companies an eighteen million dollar tax break.
The people are the ones who need a break, not the oil companies.
Bush only cares about the rich and I'm sure that everybody agrees.
Faith And Prayers
(This is a true story)

A man is going to die unless he can get a new lung.
He's middle aged but if he dies, he'll still be too young.
(This is a fictional poem)

Two years ago I bought a dog that can talk and fly.
If I said that he's intelligent, I would be telling a lie.
Holy Crap
(This is a fictional poem)

A bunch of punks stole my glasses.
I tried very hard to kick their asses.
On The Run
(This is a fictional poem)

The store clerk refused to sell you beer because you're under twenty-one.
You shot him with your pistol and took the beer and now you're on the run.
America Wants To Hear Your Voice
Voting day will soon arrive for North Carolina, Nebraska, Indiana and Idaho too.
If you live in any of these four states, this poem was written specifically for you.
Obama needs your vote and he'll be thankful if he gets it.
If you vote for him, I'll guarantee that he won't forget it.
April 29,1988
It was a time that was really great.
It began on April the 29th of 1988.
When I saw her, she was special and unique.
The type of lady that many a man would seek.

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4/22/2021 4:05:35 PM #