Randy Johnson


Randy Johnson Poems

121. School Isn'T Something That I'D Repeat 2/28/2008
122. Maximum Security Prison 2/29/2008
123. Childbirth 3/1/2008
124. Mississippi's Voting Day 3/10/2008
125. The Kitchen Sink 3/11/2008
126. Frog 3/12/2008
127. Records Are Making A Comeback 3/15/2008
128. Saint Patrick's Day 3/17/2008
129. To Suffer And Bleed In Iraq 3/18/2008
130. The Cable Is Out Again 3/19/2008
131. Black Customers 2/12/2008
132. Scheider 2/13/2008
133. Buster Was The Best 3/4/2008
134. 44 Magnum 3/8/2008
135. This Damn Television 3/21/2008
136. You Only Live Once 3/21/2008
137. I'M Going To Straighten Up 3/23/2008
138. A Load Of Bull 3/24/2008
139. I Believe In You 3/25/2008
140. I'M Going To Tell My Daddy On You 3/29/2008
141. Henson Histeria 4/2/2008
142. Pennsylvania's Voting Day 4/3/2008
143. Taxi Driver 4/4/2008
144. This Isn'T A Library 4/5/2008
145. Brother 4/6/2008
146. There's Nothing Left Of Him 4/7/2008
147. Stop Laughing At Me 4/9/2008
148. What I Did Was Evil 4/10/2008
149. Tossed My Cookies 4/12/2008
150. Burned Alive 4/13/2008
151. You Think You Can Do No Wrong. 4/14/2008
152. Put On A Damn Blouse! 4/15/2008
153. Sculpture Of Jesus 4/17/2008
154. My Wife Is An Alien 4/18/2008
155. Womanizer 4/19/2008
156. Your Grave Was Slowly Being Dug 4/21/2008
157. Bush 4/22/2008
158. Faith And Prayers 4/23/2008
159. Blunderdog 4/24/2008
160. Holy Crap 4/25/2008

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.
She...

Read the full of 800 Pounds

Attacked

Now you'll go to prison with attempted rape.
Thank goodness the lady was able to escape.
You won't enjoy going back to jail.
When she kicked you in the crotch, it must have hurt like hell.
You thought you could destroy her with your attack.
But this time the lady fought back.

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