Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

121. Frog 3/12/2008
122. Records Are Making A Comeback 3/15/2008
123. Saint Patrick's Day 3/17/2008
124. To Suffer And Bleed In Iraq 3/18/2008
125. The Cable Is Out Again 3/19/2008
126. School Isn'T Something That I'D Repeat 2/28/2008
127. Maximum Security Prison 2/29/2008
128. Childbirth 3/1/2008
129. This Damn Television 3/21/2008
130. You Only Live Once 3/21/2008
131. I'M Going To Straighten Up 3/23/2008
132. A Load Of Bull 3/24/2008
133. I Believe In You 3/25/2008
134. I'M Going To Tell My Daddy On You 3/29/2008
135. Henson Histeria 4/2/2008
136. Pennsylvania's Voting Day 4/3/2008
137. Taxi Driver 4/4/2008
138. This Isn'T A Library 4/5/2008
139. Brother 4/6/2008
140. There's Nothing Left Of Him 4/7/2008
141. Stop Laughing At Me 4/9/2008
142. What I Did Was Evil 4/10/2008
143. Tossed My Cookies 4/12/2008
144. Burned Alive 4/13/2008
145. You Think You Can Do No Wrong. 4/14/2008
146. Put On A Damn Blouse! 4/15/2008
147. Sculpture Of Jesus 4/17/2008
148. My Wife Is An Alien 4/18/2008
149. Womanizer 4/19/2008
150. Buster Was The Best 3/4/2008
151. 44 Magnum 3/8/2008
152. Your Grave Was Slowly Being Dug 4/21/2008
153. Bush 4/22/2008
154. Faith And Prayers 4/23/2008
155. Blunderdog 4/24/2008
156. Holy Crap 4/25/2008
157. On The Run 4/27/2008
158. America Wants To Hear Your Voice 4/27/2008
159. April 29,1988 4/29/2008
160. America Wants To Hear Your Voice 'Revised Edition' 5/1/2008

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Sasha Anonymous (9/6/2007 7:16:00 AM)

    Marvelous writing... ^_^

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Emily =) (4/6/2007 10:13:00 AM)

    I love all of your poems they are filled with humor and sadness, light hearted and serious-brilliant.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Buried Alive (12/24/2006 7:36:00 PM)

    I found 'I had sex with my mother-in-law' to be the funniest one I read.I was
    laughing my head off. I wonder if you will be writing a second part to it.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Jeff Hobbs Jeff Hobbs (7/24/2006 7:55:00 AM)

    Loved the crammed things up your ass poem - I thought it was going to suck a pineapple, instead it inserted one! Very funny, very very funny. You should allow comments on your poems so that you can bathe in the glory!

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

100 Dogs

When I was seven, I had 100 dogs and that was too many.
My dad would cuss while my mama spanked my fanny.
They took dumps on the furniture and all over the floor.
When I came home one day, I didn't have them anymore.
I was shocked to learn that all of my dogs had been sold.
That was nearly thirty years ago, now my parents are old.
My furry companions were gone and I was sad because I was alone.
I got even yesterday when I put my parents in a nursing home.

Read the full of 100 Dogs


Now you'll go to prison with attempted rape.
Thank goodness the lady was able to escape.
You won't enjoy going back to jail.
When she kicked you in the crotch, it must have hurt like hell.
You thought you could destroy her with your attack.
But this time the lady fought back.

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