Randy Johnson


Randy Johnson Poems

161. On The Run 4/27/2008
162. America Wants To Hear Your Voice 4/27/2008
163. April 29,1988 4/29/2008
164. Sick Twisted Revenge 5/8/2008
165. Handicapped 5/9/2008
166. The Lone Ranger 5/12/2008
167. Begala's Insult 5/14/2008
168. Kentucky's Voting Day 5/15/2008
169. A1 Yeah, It's That Important 5/16/2008
170. Hey, That's My Pickle! 5/21/2008
171. That Damn Trix Rabbit 5/22/2008
172. America Wants To Hear Your Voice 'Revised Edition' 5/1/2008
173. You'Re On The Run 5/4/2008
174. Gas Prices 5/5/2008
175. I Shot Yogi Bear 5/6/2008
176. Stratford Johns 5/27/2008
177. Korman 5/30/2008
178. Goodbye Michael Wisher 5/31/2008
179. Obama Did It! 6/7/2008
180. It's Not Karma, It's God 6/7/2008
181. Gore Was Cheated 6/12/2008
182. Frozen Tongue 6/13/2008
183. Penny And Brain 6/18/2008
184. Bob Hope 6/24/2008
185. I Had To Pay With My Life 6/28/2008
186. Silver Lining 6/28/2008
187. Carrie Fisher 6/30/2008
188. Shave Your Damn Legs! 7/7/2008
189. I Gave You A Twenty 7/8/2008
190. Cuckoo For Cocoa Puffs 7/13/2008
191. Elevator Shaft 7/15/2008
192. These Damn Laxatives 7/16/2008
193. God Is The Best! 7/19/2008
194. Life Without My Son 7/20/2008
195. Estelle Getty 7/25/2008
196. Jesus Came To My House 7/27/2008
197. I'M Not A God 8/5/2008
198. Wal-Mart's Blunder 8/9/2008
199. Little Red Riding Hood 8/30/2008
200. Obama Is The Man 8/31/2008

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.
She...

Read the full of 800 Pounds

A Day Of Bad Luck

All day long I've had bad luck.
This morning I got on an elevator and it got stuck.
I had a panic attack and thought I was going to die.
I asked a man to put out his cigarette and he stuck it in my eye.

A guy tried to take my taxi so he and I had a bout.
I thought I could win but he turned me inside out.
I learned that I have a jaw that's made of glass.
I lost several of my teeth when that guy kicked my ass.

[Report Error]