Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

201. This Damn War 9/2/2008
202. Hillary Wants Obama To Win 9/3/2008
203. Bush Has Ran This Country Into The Ground 9/4/2008
204. Obama Loves America 9/7/2008
205. Jerry Reed 9/9/2008
206. Today Is The Day To Be Thankful 11/27/2008
207. One Giant Leap For Black People 11/30/2008
208. Farewell Fred 12/1/2008
209. Martin Balsam 12/3/2008
210. Paul Benedict 12/7/2008
211. A 2nd Poem About Anthony Ainley 12/10/2008
212. A Train Flattened My Wiener 12/14/2008
213. Pat Hingle 1/8/2009
214. Sanford And Son 1/9/2009
215. Leggo My Eggo 1/11/2009
216. Martin Luther King Junior 1/19/2009
217. Racist On Election Day 1/22/2009
218. Striking Another Human Being Is Wrong 1/24/2009
219. I Wouldn'T Have Thrown A Shoe At Bush 1/25/2009
220. I Wish I Could Call God 1/25/2009
221. In God We Trust 1/26/2009
222. God Wants Us To Be Happy 1/26/2009
223. No More Grits! 1/27/2009
224. There's Only One God 1/27/2009
225. God Is Wonderful 1/28/2009
226. God Is Wise 1/29/2009
227. The American Way 1/29/2009
228. God's Promise 1/31/2009
229. Yard Sale 5/3/2009
230. The New Doctor Who 5/8/2009
231. September 11 9/11/2008
232. We'Re All In A Sinking Boat 9/12/2008
233. Bernie Mac 9/13/2008
234. We Live Better Under Democrats 9/14/2008
235. The Only Republican That Made Me Content 9/15/2008
236. United Negro College Fund 12/20/2008
237. Christmas Isn'T About The Gifts 12/24/2008
238. Padded Bra 12/28/2008
239. Wimpy Drinks 12/31/2008
240. Lousy Lover 5/11/2009

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds


Now you'll go to prison with attempted rape.
Thank goodness the lady was able to escape.
You won't enjoy going back to jail.
When she kicked you in the crotch, it must have hurt like hell.
You thought you could destroy her with your attack.
But this time the lady fought back.

[Report Error]