Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

241. A Little Piece Of Heaven 5/16/2009
242. Wendy 5/27/2009
243. The Death Of David Carradine 6/8/2009
244. Carl 6/19/2009
245. Anne Ramsey 6/21/2009
246. King Of Pop 6/26/2009
247. Ed Mcmahon 6/29/2009
248. Goodbye Mollie 7/6/2009
249. Boy 7/7/2009
250. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Iv 7/21/2009
251. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Vii: Scientific Study 7/23/2009
252. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Viii: Taxi Driver 7/23/2009
253. This Poem Is For Teenagers 7/23/2009
254. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Ix: Half Caveman 7/25/2009
255. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It X: The Final Sequel 7/26/2009
256. I Can'T Spare A Square 7/27/2009
257. I Work For The Irs 8/16/2009
258. I'M George Costanza 1/4/2010
259. A 2nd Poem About Brittany Murphy 1/5/2010
260. These Damn Farts 2/18/2010
261. Intoxicated Driving 2/26/2010
262. I Need God 5/9/2010
263. Stacy 9/3/2005
264. Driving Drunk 9/4/2005
265. Goodbye Gary 5/30/2010
266. I'M A Killer 5/31/2010
267. Brough 4/15/2006
268. The Skipper 4/19/2006
269. Tayback 5/25/2006
270. Michelle 5/31/2006
271. Mayo 6/5/2006
272. Nothing But Glass 6/9/2006
273. He Lost His Wiener In A Vacuum Cleaner 6/12/2006
274. Glued Shut 6/15/2006
275. Struck By Lightning 6/23/2006
276. Star Explores 6/26/2006
277. Beckley 6/27/2006
278. Pregnant 6/27/2006
279. Connie Hines 12/26/2009
280. Cruel Twist Of Fate 1/1/2010

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds

Yellow Pocket Bike

I love cruising on my yellow pocket bike.
As I ride down the road, I love what it feels like.
It has a semi-automatic transmission with four gears.
The sound of its engine is music to my ears.
My bike is small but it has 70 CCs of power.
It will go up to fifty miles per hour.
But I never go fast.
I treat this bike like a baby because I want it to last.
Parents should exercise caution because these bikes aren't toys.

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