Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

241. Lousy Lover 5/11/2009
242. A Little Piece Of Heaven 5/16/2009
243. Wendy 5/27/2009
244. The Death Of David Carradine 6/8/2009
245. Carl 6/19/2009
246. Anne Ramsey 6/21/2009
247. King Of Pop 6/26/2009
248. Ed Mcmahon 6/29/2009
249. Goodbye Mollie 7/6/2009
250. Boy 7/7/2009
251. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Iv 7/21/2009
252. I'M George Costanza 1/4/2010
253. A 2nd Poem About Brittany Murphy 1/5/2010
254. These Damn Farts 2/18/2010
255. Intoxicated Driving 2/26/2010
256. I Need God 5/9/2010
257. Stacy 9/3/2005
258. Driving Drunk 9/4/2005
259. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Viii: Taxi Driver 7/23/2009
260. This Poem Is For Teenagers 7/23/2009
261. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Ix: Half Caveman 7/25/2009
262. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It X: The Final Sequel 7/26/2009
263. I Can'T Spare A Square 7/27/2009
264. I Work For The Irs 8/16/2009
265. Connie Hines 12/26/2009
266. Cruel Twist Of Fate 1/1/2010
267. Screaming Because Of The Nightmares 9/11/2005
268. Goodbye Gary 5/30/2010
269. I'M A Killer 5/31/2010
270. Brough 4/15/2006
271. The Skipper 4/19/2006
272. Tayback 5/25/2006
273. Michelle 5/31/2006
274. Mayo 6/5/2006
275. Nothing But Glass 6/9/2006
276. He Lost His Wiener In A Vacuum Cleaner 6/12/2006
277. Glued Shut 6/15/2006
278. Struck By Lightning 6/23/2006
279. Star Explores 6/26/2006
280. Beckley 6/27/2006

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds


Now you'll go to prison with attempted rape.
Thank goodness the lady was able to escape.
You won't enjoy going back to jail.
When she kicked you in the crotch, it must have hurt like hell.
You thought you could destroy her with your attack.
But this time the lady fought back.

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