Randy Johnson Poems

Hit Title Date Added
I Give New Meaning To The Word Nerd

(This is a fictional poem)

Life is so hard because I'm short and ugly too.
I have big pimples and I smell worse than the animals at the zoo.

Alvin And The Chipmunks

I'm a hillbilly who eats possums, squirrels and chipmunks too.
Alvin and the Chipmunks came to my house and I turned them into stew.

Terminally Ill

I used a rusty razor blade for nearly a year.
In a matter of months I may no longer be here.

Paddling Bully

In the seventh grade I had a bully for a teacher.
He was ugly and he was indeed a horrible creature.

Everybody Loved Tom Bosley

For many years you starred on Happy Days as Howard Cunningham.
When your fans learned that you died, they most likely said 'DAMN! '
You starred in Father Dowling Mysteries as a Catholic Priest.
You have passed away and now you will Rest In Peace.

Ladies Man

I came home early one day and saw my wife in bed with another man.
I grabbed my shotgun and you should've saw how fast he ran.

Miserable Little Brat

(This is a fictional poem)

My son makes Dennis the Menace look like Opie Taylor.
He has the manners of a tyrant and the mouth of a sailor.

X-Ray Glasses

I bought a pair of X-Ray vision glasses.
I could see women's breasts and asses.

Road Rage

I've encountered road rage over eighty times.
My driving is so horrible that it's a crime.

Gene Barry

You died less than one year ago.
People loved to watch your shows.
It was very tragic when you died last year.
Your death made your fans burst into tears.