Randy Johnson


Randy Johnson Poems

321. You Are A Punk! 11/17/2010
322. G-O-D 11/18/2010
323. Fired For Having Large Breasts 11/19/2010
324. Cops 11/7/2010
325. Men Of Science 11/9/2010
326. That Piece Of Trash 11/18/2006
327. Gone Fishing 11/21/2006
328. God's Eternal Love 11/25/2010
329. Ladder To Heaven 11/26/2010
330. Back In Time 11/24/2006
331. I'M Going To Forgive 12/1/2006
332. Anno Domini 12/3/2010
333. Sore Loser 12/17/2006
334. Instead Of Adoring Santa Claus 12/13/2010
335. That Poor Dog 12/21/2006
336. Strong Faith 12/14/2010
337. James Brown 12/26/2006
338. Why Do Many People Wait Until December 24? 12/19/2010
339. I Killed A Teenage Boy 1/8/2007
340. I'Ll Make You Pay The Price 12/12/2006
341. Hermaphrodite 12/15/2006
342. World War Iii On Christmas Day 12/26/2010
343. A New Law In Tennessee 12/29/2010
344. The End Of 2010 12/31/2010
345. Virgin 2/9/2007
346. Racist 2/11/2007
347. Russian Roulette 2/13/2007
348. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Part 2 2/16/2007
349. Here's Johnny! 2/17/2007
350. Old Women Make Me Horny 2/20/2007
351. Puppy The Chihuahua 1/23/2011
352. I Robbed A Liquor Store 3/7/2007
353. Those Damn Pigs Feet 3/12/2007
354. I'M A Little Person 3/19/2007
355. I'M Not Bigfoot 3/27/2007
356. Jimmy 4/1/2007
357. I Committed Murder 4/4/2007
358. You'Re A Dirty Rat 4/7/2007
359. The Train 4/8/2007
360. The Babysitter 4/10/2007

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Sasha Anonymous (9/6/2007 7:16:00 AM)

    Marvelous writing... ^_^

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Emily =) (4/6/2007 10:13:00 AM)

    I love all of your poems they are filled with humor and sadness, light hearted and serious-brilliant.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Buried Alive (12/24/2006 7:36:00 PM)

    I found 'I had sex with my mother-in-law' to be the funniest one I read.I was
    laughing my head off. I wonder if you will be writing a second part to it.

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Jeff Hobbs Jeff Hobbs (7/24/2006 7:55:00 AM)

    Loved the crammed things up your ass poem - I thought it was going to suck a pineapple, instead it inserted one! Very funny, very very funny. You should allow comments on your poems so that you can bathe in the glory!

    2 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

You Got My Sister Pregnant

You got my sister pregnant and refused to take responsibility.
You told her it's her problem and now you have to deal with me.
Let's step outside and deal with this like men.
When I get done, you won't shirk your responsibility again.
You told her to have an abortion even after she decided to have the child.
Now I'm pissed off and I'm about to go wild.
You refused to marry my sister but you will pay child support.
Or I'll beat the hell out of you and then take you to court.
Take my word when I tell you that it's wise not to mess with me.
I weigh nearly two hundred ...

Read the full of You Got My Sister Pregnant

A Day Of Bad Luck

All day long I've had bad luck.
This morning I got on an elevator and it got stuck.
I had a panic attack and thought I was going to die.
I asked a man to put out his cigarette and he stuck it in my eye.

A guy tried to take my taxi so he and I had a bout.
I thought I could win but he turned me inside out.
I learned that I have a jaw that's made of glass.
I lost several of my teeth when that guy kicked my ass.

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