Randy Johnson

Randy Johnson Poems

321. Penny In The Fusebox 11/5/2006
322. Electrocuted By A Power Line 11/6/2006
323. Poor Precious 11/3/2010
324. I Took A Life 9/8/2010
325. Cops 11/7/2010
326. Men Of Science 11/9/2010
327. The Memories Still Haunt Him 11/14/2006
328. Without God 11/14/2010
329. You Are A Punk! 11/17/2010
330. G-O-D 11/18/2010
331. Fired For Having Large Breasts 11/19/2010
332. That Piece Of Trash 11/18/2006
333. Gone Fishing 11/21/2006
334. God's Eternal Love 11/25/2010
335. I'M Going To Forgive 12/1/2006
336. Anno Domini 12/3/2010
337. Child Killer 12/8/2006
338. Ladder To Heaven 11/26/2010
339. Back In Time 11/24/2006
340. I'Ll Make You Pay The Price 12/12/2006
341. Hermaphrodite 12/15/2006
342. Sore Loser 12/17/2006
343. Instead Of Adoring Santa Claus 12/13/2010
344. That Poor Dog 12/21/2006
345. Strong Faith 12/14/2010
346. James Brown 12/26/2006
347. Why Do Many People Wait Until December 24? 12/19/2010
348. I Killed A Teenage Boy 1/8/2007
349. The End Of 2010 12/31/2010
350. Virgin 2/9/2007
351. Racist 2/11/2007
352. Russian Roulette 2/13/2007
353. So Easy A Caveman Can Do It Part 2 2/16/2007
354. Here's Johnny! 2/17/2007
355. Old Women Make Me Horny 2/20/2007
356. World War Iii On Christmas Day 12/26/2010
357. A New Law In Tennessee 12/29/2010
358. Old Women Make Me Horny Part 2 2/22/2007
359. Puppy The Chihuahua 1/23/2011
360. I Robbed A Liquor Store 3/7/2007

Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

    0 person liked.
    2 person did not like.
Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.

Read the full of 800 Pounds

A Day Of Bad Luck

All day long I've had bad luck.
This morning I got on an elevator and it got stuck.
I had a panic attack and thought I was going to die.
I asked a man to put out his cigarette and he stuck it in my eye.

A guy tried to take my taxi so he and I had a bout.
I thought I could win but he turned me inside out.
I learned that I have a jaw that's made of glass.
I lost several of my teeth when that guy kicked my ass.

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