What is this beast that has entered into my mind.
This growing scourge that haunts me like an animal at each waking moment of the day.
Alas. Sleep has been no better form of escape.
For then I am left to run freely without restraint.
There is a light beyond the tunnel's end.
I have shimmered in its brilliant beams.
All around glowed in gold as careless joy swept into my soul.
Met in time by another glowing figure.
Here I stand with my hat in my hand looking like a proverbial fool again.
Egg dripping from my face runs down on this jester's vest of shame.
The hidden wound bleeds internally for I would never let you see the hurt.
It would be to great a sacrifice for you to see the being inside.
The spirit above has said: “Love thy neighbor as thyself”.
What is so hard about this?
I do not understand.
You hatred of me confuses me for I have done nothing wrong.
If you could step inside my soul would you be able to leave again?
Can one molecule pass through the membrane and diffuse out the wall?
If the energy exchange is there can you leave whole as one again?
What transformation will occur?
Remember that special childhood toy?
Where is it now?
Remember how safely guarded you were from the dark monsters that lived under your bed?
Comfort that was given freely each time tears wet your face.
I saw you the other night sitting in a restaurant.
You looked up, smiled that full-face smile and said hello.
I thought I was over you. But my heart went crazy.
I thought I had driven the wanting out.
Thistle fairies exist.
Do you know where?
Brightly shining glimpses of light barely seen.
Look into a child's eyes.
You know what you do to me every time I see you.
You know how my heart aches to tell you that I love you.
You smile, and I am immediately drawn into your power again.
Oh, you know exactly what you do to me.
I chose to shut the door long ago.
Do not open it.
Do not pull in the rusted handle.
Do not unlock the bolt.