The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Hot And Cold
A woman who my mother knows
Came in and took off all her clothes.
Said I, not being very old,
'By golly gosh, you must be cold!'
'No, no!' she cried. 'Indeed I'm not!
I'm feeling devilishly hot!'