Sidney Joseph Perelman

Brooklyn, New York City, New York
Sidney Joseph Perelman
Brooklyn, New York City, New York

Quotes

11 November 2014
I haven't eaten in three days. I didn't eat yesterday, I didn't eat today and I'm not going to eat tomorrow. That makes it three days!
11 November 2014
I tell you, you're ruining that boy. You're ruining him. Why can't you do as much for me?
11 November 2014
When I was your age I went to bed right after supper. Sometimes I went to bed before supper. Sometimes I went without supper and didn't go to bed at all.
11 November 2014
Oh, the shame of it! That I should live to see a son of mine try to take a dame away from his father!
11 November 2014
I thought my razor was dull until I heard his speech and that reminds me of a story that's so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself.
11 November 2014
I love sitting on your lap. I could sit here all day if you didn't stand up.
11 November 2014
'Anything further, Father?' That can't be right. Isn't it 'anything farther, further?'
11 November 2014
Why don't you go home to your wife? I'll tell you what. I'll go home to your wife and outside of the improvements, you'll never know the difference. Pull over to the side of the road there and let me see your marriage license.
11 November 2014
How much would it cost you to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?
11 November 2014
English life, while very pleasant, is rather bland. I expected kindness and gentility and I found it, but there is such a thing as too much couth.

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5/7/2021 12:08:39 AM # 1.0.0.576