Tom Guy

Rookie (Wha? I'm not dead! And most certainly not born yet. / A mansion in Alabama)

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Lo, ever met an overprotective cow? Here's your chance! Call 9-1-1 and ask for the cows that work there. more »

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Best Poem of Tom Guy

I'M Gettin' Old!

I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh my Gosh, what can I do?
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My mood is bad - can you tell?
My body's drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years have come at last
The Golden Years can kiss my ass.

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