Elycia_Medina15 Medina

I think I'm having another episode.
Some call me crazy or even delusional.
But it's not my fault... I take my meds like the doctor says, even go through series of tests...
I see people from my past, but I see them in the flesh, I swear they talk to me just to take me from my sleep, making me toss and turn, even sweat. Its hard to keep myself organized.
...

Anxiety.
My heart is pounding,
I can't breath.
Anxiety.
...

Have you ever just wanted to die?
Well not die, but not live either like you have no motivation at all to anything ever again,
But there obviously something keeping you alive, why am I alive?
What's keeping me here?
...

I feel the tick in my neck,
I feel the kick start to itch,
I pace up and down, but my anxiousness won't stop.
I'm pretty sure I'm just stressed.
...

Sleep.
An average night of sleep for an adolescent is 8-10 hours.
So why am I only getting 4-5 hours of inconsistent rest.?
I'm up and I'm down and I can't fall asleep.
...

When you die where do you go?
I've always wondered what's after death. I've heard you feel the pain of a thousand deaths,
Your stuck in a void of nothing ness, trapped in the place you died.
Is there such thing as Heavan? A forbidden paradise?
...

When you look into that mirror. What do you see?
I'll tell you what I see.
Me.
A monster.
...

Slits on my wrist, they hurt like an ich, what am I supposed to do when that's the only feeling I get?
Ive downed some whiskey, smoked some pot, even went as far as becoming a slut,

Nothing ever worked for me
...