Ainsley Jo Phillips

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Potato Plight

I knew very little on frying potatoes
That year in freshman home ec. --
But that was my cooking assignment,
So I thought, "What the heck!?!
I've got to learn how sometime!"
But spring was in the air . . .
When I looked up from my skillet,
Who should be standing there
But that twentysomething teacher
Whom I saw as a super dude.
As I stood in a trance, my potatoes turned black
'Til they no longer passed for food!
That sassy, blonde cheerleader, Penny,
Had been assigned dessert --
And that gorgeous math teacher asked her
To bake him his own (OUCH! That hurt!)
I had aimed for his heart through his stomach --
But those fried spuds had caused me to fail!
Potatoes had made me a laughing stock --
So don't feel so alone, Mr. Quayle!

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