I don't know why I'm slandered so,
If I go high,--if I go low,--
There's always some one who will say,
'Just see that mercury to-day!'
...
Prince Curlilocks remarked one day
To Princess Dimplecheek,
'I haven't had a real good play
For more than 'most a week.'
...
Once there was a Pirate Poodle,
And he sailed the briny seas
From the land of Yankee Doodle
Southward to the Caribbees.
...
A was an apt Alligator,
Who wanted to be a head-waiter;
He said, 'I opine
In that field I could shine,
...
This is the Queen of Nonsense Land,
She wears her bonnet on her hand;
She carpets her ceilings and frescos her floors,
...
Betty Botta bought some butter;
'But,' said she, 'this butter's bitter!
If I put it in my batter
It will make my batter bitter.
...
'Twas the night before the Fourth of July, the people slept serene;
The fireworks were stored in the old town hall that stood
...
This figure here before you is a Macaroni Man,
Who is built, as you may notice, on a most ingenious plan.
...
Triangular Tommy, one morning in May,
Went out for a walk on the public highway.
Just here I will say,
'Twas a bright sunny day,
...
Old Santa Claus is up-to-date,
And hereafter, rumors say,
He'll come with his pack of glittering toys,
And visit the homes of girls and boys,
...