The Ouija board is a tear in the veil,
A portal to the astral realm
It is no petty childish toy;
If played, keep God leading at the helm
...
''Push! , '' the women tell me
I clench my teeth together, shut my eyes, and do as they command
My stomach and arms hurt, and I don't like the pain
I softly groan as I push as hard as I can
...
He holds my body like warm, liquid amber
He caresses me with his fingers, his touch as light as butterfly kisses
His kisses make me burn and melt in shocks of pleasure
The god of Death is a sweet lover, indeed
...
First, a suitor comes knocking
He claims he wants you (as he simultaneously desires so many others)
He offers a bride price, which your parents carefully scrutinize
To see how much the cost will be at their end
...
Yesterday, I slipped and fell on my butt
Twice
I have bruises as purple as plums
On my arms, on my legs, on my butt
...
Did you know that she threatened to leave?
Not once or twice, oh no
But a few times now already
Maybe even a thousand
...
Grandmother calls out to me in the morning
I start to get up, but Somnus drags me back to bed
''Just a little longer, '' he murmurs
''I have to go, '' I say urgently, but he nuzzles into my shoulder blades and wraps his arms around my midsection
...
Goodbye, Mom
Goodbye, Dad
Goodbye, spouse I never had
Goodbye, kids that never grew
...
I wish I wasn't me
I wish I wasn't born female
I wish I wasn't the type of person my mother can't stand
I wish I wasn't so afraid to remove my façade and show her the truth behind the mask
...