kyle. (2/8/2010 1:06:00 PM) Post reply

critique and suggestions are welcome and really needed! !

'I pray sunlight remembers me.'

A helping of that loneliness
Has endangered my whole life.
Its bitter and it quakes me.
Its siren's song do so entice.

As does the ink of an octopus
Left to drift in its departure
I shiver forgotten too
Like the devil's discarded garter.

My hands quiver slightly
As if to always remind me
Of the fear I have of fearing
That dull starlight won't remind me-

To embrace the drug of sleep
That only burns to comfort me.
Only darkness bakes me apple pies.
I pray sunlight remembers me.

Kyle S. Hamp
 

Jake Shelvey (2/7/2010 9:31:00 AM) Post reply

I must recommend, if you want a truly amazing poem to read type in 'Born from a dream' by Justin Unanue. Best poem I've read on this site bar none. Oh, and you could check out my poems and tell me how to improve too, if you want!
 

kyle. (2/6/2010 2:29:00 PM) Post reply

'Under'

Thunder isn't present.
Lightning doesn't strike.
The flood after a heart breaks
Is what this storm is like.

Twilight claims the daytime.
God has got the blues
For once again I'm late again
In paying my past dues.

The color of the living
Has blackened without night.
Drowning are the daffodils
Without the sun's sweet light.

A dilapidated canine
With fur like scaly skin
Licks with his pink failing tongue
God's tears. He drinks them in.

This puppy is a martyr.
He believes he will be saved,
But sadly or maybe gladly
Under the sun he will be paved.

Kyle S. Hamp
 

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kyle. (1/26/2010 10:04:00 PM) Post reply

'This one's for the lovers.'

'This one's for the lovers...'
The DJ rattled on,
But I liked the song a lot
Though I was dancing all alone.

And my heartbeat tried to warn me
While my feet battered the floor,
But the song's lyrics perfumed me
As you sauntered through the door...

I learned I should have battled
Against the DJ's catchy tune
Because he led me to fresh sadness
When the music stopped too soon.

Kyle S. Hamp
 

Andrew Nawroski Saintly Slumber (1/25/2010 3:17:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Ways to write new poetry! & be better than a great poet! ! ! !


1a. - NOT RECOMMENDED:

1. after waking in the morning is to bang your forehead against the bedroom wall until your nose bleeds, and write your first poem of the day in the nasal blood.

2. Get a full roll of toilet paper, remove the inner cardboard and boil the tissue until mushy, add some syrup and eat for breakfast after writing your first poem.

3. Poke yourself in the right eye every 3 hours, this works as your left eye controls the right hand side of your brain [artistic & poetical side] and the right eye controls the left hand side of the brain [all the every day things such as reason, logic, maths & science.


2 a. RECOMMENDED:
1. Always carry a plain papered note book wherever you go, the is better than lined as little drawings become helpful, and a good black fountain pen is better than gel.

2. Reading lots of books such as Anton Chekov, Kaffka, Hemmingway and the like, Psalms & Ezekiel are good for romantics. Famous poets biographies are an essential read, as there lives are what they wrote about and is often more beneficial to the poet than reading their poetry.

3. For the highly experienced poet try automatic writing, this can be difficult and sometimes dangerous but has benefits to the progressive stance that opens up & broadens the imagination.

4. A good diet with plenty of fruit & honey is also helpful, it gets rid of the dark mood swings and leaves the poet always feeling refreshed and rid of any negativity.5. Sensibly communing with animals is a good way to see if your poetry is going well and sometimes helps when your poetry is causing you grief.

Hope this is of some use. Regards Andy.

If you don't have a sense of humour what's the point in being anything.
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