(7/28/2008 10:37:00 AM)
Hello people from this loving world.
I write poems and lyrics for a while now.
And uhm I wnat to improve my writing style! so could ou check my pomes out nad tell me what you think? ? nad how to improve it? ?
Egi David Perdana
(7/27/2008 10:40:00 PM)
she's go to home
did you feel, go from heart, and written my name, in your life, of course
paint your memory, about respecting of our love, in memory, house of memory.
and you go to my house.
you good girl, I love you although you do not recognize me.
pass my heart, I give my home address
come to my house, so please love me do
and when space the stars, whispering at you, because I love you.
don't worry, and I hope, you will cleaning, my old brown shoe,
and I will clean your underpants.
we is recognizing each other, is doing each other.
because tomorrow we will become one, one heart, one soul, and one feeling, what you do, I will do, so also, what I do, you will do, because us one, heart, heart, soul and feel
if my heart weep, you will calm me with giving me, umbrella.
we will shelter together, in your heart, or my heart.
or when us, feel life heat, I, will rain you with heart calmness water.
because us one, one heart, one feel, although I'm is man, and you is woman, one in love
and offspring we, will feel our love, one love, each other, longing each other
and every them, breeze their anniversary cake, they always remember the infinite, and love
and pray, to be them given love forever, one love, one feel
you is, second person, which I remember, after the infinite
later afterwards, our childrens, family our, all our friends, my life, our life, myself, and all, I love all
egi david perdana
(7/20/2008 7:02:00 AM)
I`am new on this site. I want to learn better english(iam from sweden) . If you can help me with my grammar on my poems. =)
I have more poems at home.
(7/17/2008 12:23:00 PM)
Read my poems Write honest comments and how to improve my
(7/15/2008 6:12:00 AM)
I would like to get some piece of advice on how to obtain a more surreal/ethereal feel on my poems. It's quite hard to obtain an airy effect in poetry since you still have to use words... freeform poems with random/made up words would be a good idea, but it could be very hard to convey emotion on paper.
Anyway, feel free to check out my poems (sorry for the shameless plug) if you're into more surreal poetry...
Best regards from Romania,
(7/11/2008 2:54:00 PM)
Please stop by my profile and read some of my stuff, I love feedback so criticize me lol
Thank you all
(7/9/2008 10:33:00 AM)
I'm new to this site, i could use some feedback on my poems. so yeah feel free to come check them out, i think i'm pretty good. :)
(7/6/2008 5:16:00 AM)
O.k well i havent been able to sleep right for like a month and a few days
and i think its cause so much stuff is going on in my life.
I Broke my foot aday after school got out.The girl i like is going out with some other dude, this other girl i like(i no im bad =P) is really pretty and i see her and i cant like do anything..
BUT i really cannot wright poetry at all and i think thats like the only way i can get how i feel out...So if anyone could help me that would be nice =) and it would help alot...feel free to email at this really lame email address lol
(7/4/2008 8:17:00 PM)
I dunno I got like ninteen posts but few comments
check out my stuff please tell me if u enjoy
ill comment back
Shame Provoked secrecy
(7/2/2008 6:56:00 PM)
Sorry i am new to this. i know i am drifting a little out of the context of this conversation area but i don't suppose anyone knows how to put a setting on my page that won't allow it to come up on search engines? I really dont mind people on here reading my poetry, i like it and feel blessed that people would want to finish them but i really dont like the idea of my family or freinds being able to find them. They are a very personal and pretty detailed description on my state of mind and i wouldnt want anyone who knows me to read them.Sorry i sound like a crazy person but i need to get it off google! can anyone help?