(10/1/2005 12:39:00 AM)
Hi there. New to PoemHunter. Definitely interested in techniques, and a little feedback.
You Look Great She Said
you look great she said
and she meant that
I do not look as bad
as she thought
by the light in the hall
it looks good on you
she said and she meant
how sad that
our face has lines
and our hair falls out
have you lost weight
she asked and I thought
you and I should not be too thin
for our skin is like paper
less elastic and more transparent
(9/11/2005 11:59:00 PM)
I have posted 16 poems on love and on death and despair.would like to have your comments please
(9/9/2005 10:51:00 PM)
hi i just entered two poems instead and whati felt i had to do please give me feedback on what you think thank you.
Elie Abou Chaaya
(9/9/2005 6:54:00 PM)
i just need professional opinions for 2 of my poems 'my promise' and 'till we meet again', it's very urgent and important. post your opinions directly to me, or in here. i heard people say that i have a unique style of writing. and i'm asking yours. thank you all in advance.
Till we meet again
It’s hard to say goodbye, and leave everything behind
But, my dear, I am forced to leave far away and hide
Away from you, and weep every moment we spent together
But what can I do, if faith holds us apart from each other?
I struggled so long, till I forgot the reason behind the pain
But all I know, is that every time I see you, my heart beats again
In stormy nights, and shiny days, summer breezes, and winter bites
I struggled till I couldn’t no more; I surrendered and delivered the fight
It’s time to say goodbye, I kiss your hand while I am down on my knees
Knowing that you will never be mine, denying that you belong to me
The fight is over, the war is lost, and through the ashes, you will find me
Alone, broken, screaming your name, as my wounds are killing me
How I always wanted to say to you how much I love you
How I desired one honest look from your eyes, into the depths of my soul
But, you never understand what I want, or you knew and never desired me
You preferred others, made mistakes, and were too blind to see
What you’ve done to my heart, what you’ve done to my soul and my mind
It’s time for me to leave, to tear away what’s left from me, and leave you behind
How life is not fair, how love is ruthless, how feelings get dissolved and fade away
I will go to bed tonight, and cry you one last time, and tomorrow, I will start a new day
I will march the gardens of misery, and try to find a rose, all alone like me
I will give her love, warm, comfort, water, and sun; I will kiss her thorns and bleed
And none of you will remain, but a name written on my heart with fire
You shall always be forever my lost love, my lost need, my lost desire...
Ikazoboh Austine Jeffrey
(9/9/2005 6:15:00 AM)
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poets are very reflective and private people who observe alot. i think been a poet is not just about the talent but your attitude towards your talent and the way you view things
(8/31/2005 3:58:00 AM)
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THE PILGRIM BAND OF POETS
Burn always an intense flame, think always of beauty, never of the plaudits of men. Be proud of your calling, of the pilgrim band of poets. -Kenneth Hopkins in The Brothers Powys, Richard Percival Graves, Routledge and Kegan Paul, London,1989, pp.276-7.
You can feel it coming,
like a spark
between your ears,
sometimes in your heart
a warm feeling comes-
and then the work begins
to fan the spark into a flame,
to draw on a world of beauty,
to be faithful
to an ancient pilgrim band of poets
and some inner self
that always seems to stay the same,
as it plays out roles of diversity,
all your days,
while your body goes completely different-
like someone else.
And you turn it all on,
create the joy,
from the endless stimulation of life.
In the process
you become quiet, still,
perhaps mildly depressive*
once or twice a year
21 September 1999
* Doris Lessing, famous American novelist, thinks most writers are ‘mildly depressive’.
(8/26/2005 11:27:00 AM)
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I posted my first poem here on Poem Hunter yesterday and it would mean a lot to me if someone would give me some feedback to improve my writing.
(8/24/2005 12:29:00 PM)
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I have posted some new poems and created the ebook of those poems using the ebook feature. Thanks to PoemHumter.com, Im able to email that ebook to my friends and it looks kind of good.
(8/23/2005 1:23:00 AM)
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'Ways to improve your poetry. Post your techniques, tips, and creative ideas how to write better.' Here are assorted random ideas I have.
I think that copying poems that you like is one of the best exercises you can do to make you poetry better. Going further, there is memorizing poems. This is a great way to get inside of a poem and figure out the ways that poets can make meaning come out in little ways.
For your own writing, reading your poems aloud is a great way to find out what you are saying and to pinpoint any places where your intended meanings and intended sounds differ from what you currently have written down. If you have the nerve, it is great to have someone else read your poem outloud to you. This will show where a reader may stumble and how your intentions may need help.
I find it is best to write poems into many different places. Start with writing it long-hand, then copy it out somewhere else by hand. Then type it into the computer, print it out, read it through and rather than just word processing your changes, type it into a new file. This makes you look at every word and every space fresh and helps tighten things up.
One trick I found with the computer is to not use Microsoft Word. I know you can turn off the automatic caps and the little green lines showing up a grammatical error (even if you want it) but I think that Word is not a poet's friend. I started typing my poems into Excel and it is useful for a number of reasons. You can give each word or each syllable its own box - this helps with rhythm and pacing. Also, I like to write a poem out too long. Then I can take all of the passages that are saying a similar thing and paste them next to each other and then find the best image out of the several. Excel is also good because it lets you mess around with moving different lines to different places and changing stanza order.
Another good exercise that has many permutations is to set yourself a limited set of words. Dr Seuss wrote Green Eggs and Ham using only 50 words. You can get words from a newspaper article, a game of scrabble, or any number of fun ways - this is especially good with a group of people because then you can help set words together and see how you can come up with different things and different ideas from the same starting point.
You don't have to write about love and the moon and the tides and pain. Someone famous said that his/her most famous poem was done just to 'expiate a pettiness.'
Ok. Read you poems outloud. Copy out other people's poems - and always ALWAYS look over your poem for images. You need images.Replies for this message:
(1/27/2007 12:45:00 AM)
First when you write poetry You listen to a song in the radio And sometimes you get one world For example Prisoner of time The other is take a poem and use Some of the lines And combine with d ... more
(8/25/2005 4:32:00 AM)
So, Nicholas, with such sound foundations -where are your poems?
(8/24/2005 8:55:00 AM)
This is a really useful posting, Nicholas. We could do with more like this. Thank you.
(8/23/2005 7:21:00 PM)
(I also posted most of this on the other ... more
Poetry Snob (aka Jefferson Carter)
(8/23/2005 1:59:00 PM)
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Nicholas, some good advice here. Especi ... more
(8/23/2005 1:31:00 PM)
Excellent advice, I'd say, Nicholas. I e ... more
- Aldo Kraas (1/27/2007 12:45:00 AM) Post reply
(8/21/2005 12:39:00 PM)
Hello every body.
I have published my FIRST poem on poem hunter.
its my first experience in writing a poem.
would you please read it and tell your idea?
its named: You are mine.