(8/14/2013 9:07:00 PM)
This poem is masterfully written!
The message of your poem (as I interpreted it) was beautiful.
The only thing that I would suggest is that you consider removing the word " like" from the line " Like sands from an hourglass, we fall."
If that phrase simple read " sand from an hourglass, we fall, " it would flow a bit more smoothly. For this poem, I think that a metaphor is more suited than a simile.
Other than that minute detail, I loved your poem. It's amazing.
I hope this helped :)
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