Freeform Workshop

Hi i am looking for anybody who would like to look at my poems to give me advice and critique them alittle because I am not to expirienced in writing I am still in high school but it is what I love to do and I am always looking for ways to improve.

Hello, I'm looking for anyone who's a little more cultured in the writing world than me to look at a poem or two of mine, like a mock workshop or whatever. All I have for writing experience is one college class in Creative Writing. If there's anyone interested, please reply to this message.
Thanks!
-Jessica

This Friday as every Friday since last Friday is booze night with crazy poemos and stories so u r all welcome to write something and add it to ur list, if u like.

All the best and more
Roger

Any French or French speakin fellow poemhunters out there could tell me your opinion for Le chasseur de l'esprit.Its my poemo Mindhunter in French though I dont know French, with a little help of a friend of mine I manage to write it.
Thanks
Roger

What do you all think of organising a day for booze? Let say Friday and we write about our favourite drinks and crazy stories relating to booze and call it
'Friday night is pie-eyed night.'Francesca Johnson gave me the idea and the name.

Hello

Cloud cover

I don’t see myself in this.
Waiting for the cloud to part,
for my illumination to begin.
When I’m warm I grasp it, mania ensues.
The need for clarification overwhelms me
I overstep the mark and your recoil begins.
Reciting Oppenheimer, caught in the brightness,
all I can do is wait for the clouds to converge.
You walk away.
Wanting to feel.
Wanting to hope.
Wanting to love.
Cloud cover.

Briefest of glimpses. You see me in there.
Promethean intensity revealing what is alive
but that which can’t persist.
A love shaped by contrast, by shade: eclipsed.
Within my penumbra all is bleak.
I want to emerge and unfurl-to radiate
You remain.
Helping me feel.
Helping me hope.
Helping me love.
Cloud cover.

Red and Black are my world’s only colours.
Falsehoods and deceptions.
Contradictions overshadow
what emerges inside me.
I am at home in Diodati.
Corrosion can be reversed
but its remnants still contaminate.
Acceptance of the haze is the beginning of purity.
You cleanse.
I feel.
I hope.
I love.
Cloud revealed.



A Marriner © September 2006

nice poem well written

I'd like to hear your comments, even harsh ones. Thank you. :)

Nostalgia Unremembered

The heart pondered
with suffocating hollowness
that pinched within.
Caresses, enveloped in mist,
deafened with remembrance
from ear
to ear.
Distant murmurs scurried
around: finding its owner─ ─
as how storks knew
the right wombs.
I─ ─ ─
caught yours
with a sigh
in a blistering night
when weakened petals
suddenly,
bloom
with dew

comments are welcome. thanks

at times am overwhelmed


at times am overwhelmed
about nothing
just sitting there alone
by the lagoon
and watching the foaming brine
bring in debris of all kinds
or taking a walk
on the wild side
and i cross the road
where the motel was
and see comfort workers
still hawking there stuff
but i turn and walk on by
at times like that
i recall your first cut
the times we necked
at the lagoon front
the things we did
at our heavenspot
you touched me in places
i didnt know exist
and i took you on journeys
that i cant now revisit
saw you now all
married and proper
a vicar's wife
fitted for the role
like the thread fits the needle
i begin to doubt if
it all didnt happen
maybe i hallucinate
two dozen times
over three years
or may be i break your heart
and you found god
and he showed you the vicar
who gave showed you peace
but am still walking in the shadows
behinds the trees were
we used to make love
and haunt the streets
were we rendevous
am still thinking
why did i leave
and if i was the earth
and you were the leaf
why in the name of newton
did you not come back to me
at times overwhelmed
by the aboundance of nothing
i compose this corny lines