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Alexis ... Female, 23, United Kingdom (6/18/2012 8:32:00 PM)

Hi everyone I would like to have you comment on my poems....ironically it is really hard to. Please let me know what you think, and please visit my page and read and comment on the other thanks

Ascension

Deadened are my lively days
When simple was a word I didn't know
I stepped with high-heels onto a moonlit street
And without a sound feel a rhythm
I could feel any beat
Out of my own volition

I would dance down endless roads
As they stared
The passersby
And jealous were the stars of my candescence
Although they glowed
But I was luminescent

I would dance through towns and cities
Not knowing I'd gone miles
But that cars were far behind in speed
They slowed around curves
But there was no break in me

I had come to a sea
And effortlessly I did transcend
Now feeling I am free
Leaving endless streets behind
That held no space for me

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  • T.j. Johnson (6/18/2012 10:27:00 PM) Post reply | Read 1 reply

    i really enjoyed your poem. i thought is was beautifully composed, and i was able to put myself into it.

    Replies for this message:
    • Kelvin Karani (7/5/2012 6:02:00 AM) Post reply

      I also loved the poem...the image is good, very vivid...and I love the first line...the irony in it! " Deadened are my lively days" indeed! You can find me on ourwordsourvoices(dot) blogspot ... more

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